Survivor's guide: day 49

It is the final count down.  In two hours Laura's journey begins.  I can't even begin to describe how excited I am.  I'm frantically trying to get all the little house cleaning things down, put finishing touches on my projects for Laura, and school work.  Laura woke up at 3am, or at least she was trying to, to get to the airport with the 2 hour buffer they want for international travel.

I don't think I will be able to actually focus on my school work for the rest of the week.  Heck it may even be the rest of the term that I won't be able to properly focus on my school work.  I'm having troubles as it is.  I already have my route planned out to avoid traffic and I am toying with the idea of leaving class a little early as to prevent Laura from having to sit in the airport for an hour and a half.  My mind is racing as is my heart.  Goodness me.  It has been a very long time.

I got in touch with a friend of mine recently, she said the longest she had been apart from her husband was two weeks and that it was horrible.  I can imagine.  I figure it sucks just as much two weeks or two months.  Two weeks might even be harder cause the pain never dulls.  At least I had the time to shut out the ache, at least manage it.  I hope she never has to be away from her husband again.  I hope I never have to be away from Laura again.

So tomorrow I will reveal my big projects I did for Laura.  They were fun and some will carry over I am sure.  I need to get back to studying and clean up.  Nervous energy so lends itself better to physical work.

49 days down.  Survived it.

Survivor's guide: day 48

The separation is drawing towards its end.  Thank goodness for that.  Monday is the last day I will be without my wife.  Need I really say more about anything for this post?

Well if I do too bad cause I need to get homework done and  I really need not get myself into a frenzy.

48 days down, 1 to go!

Survivor's guide: day 47

I am so excited about being with my wife again I totally forgot to blog last night.

The final count down has come.  With each passing moment m mead spins faster and faster as if it going to spin right off.  My head is buzzing with excitement of finally getting to hold my wife.  I love her so much.  My heart is pounding and feels as if going to burst right out of my chest.  Just thinking of her gets me all wound up now.  I though that this would be easing up as time went on.  That it would be hardest at the beginning then I would adjust.  Completely different from what I expected.

I love my wife.  I am glad to have her in my life and I am so glad she will be back in my arms soon.

47 days down, 2 left.  It went by faster than I expected upon looking back.

Survivor's guide: day 45

So I knew today Laura and I may not get to chat much cause she had a busy day in Aberdeen with an old school friend.  I also knew she was going to have an early train to catch so I wasn't really expecting to chat with her much or have much communication with her at all.  I was pleasantly surprised to have an e-mail from her.  It just made my day.

On top of that she was able to hope on and say goodnight before she went to bed.  It was the end to the perfect communicative day for me anyway.

So my projects for Laura are about to come to an end.  I need to come up with one more really good one to have one project per week.  I just have to find something good that also doesn't interfere with school work.  It is definitely a challenge.  It is going to be so nice having my wife back again.

45 days down, 4 more to go.

Survivor's guide: day 44

So close now so very close.

I am more excited to see my wife again than I am for christmas, birthday, disneyland, or when she first came over.  I can hardly wait.  Short I know but I have had a long busy day, most of which I was able to spend time chatting with my dear wife.  I don't think I am going to let her be as soon as she get back.

44 days down, 5 more to go!

Survivor's guide: day 43

I finally finished the last cupcake Laura sent.  only took me forever to eat 3.

The volcano in iceland seems to have settled down a bit.  At least enough to let flights to continue on their merry way.  Thank goodness for that.  It is now, so near the end of this horrible journey, that I feel like I may crack.  The strain on me seems a bit much.  I don't know why now, with less than a week to go.  Perhaps it is because of the excitement and it is not coming nearly fast enough.  I wish I had time to take off with Laura for the rest of the week and not worry about school.  Sadly I can't.  That is the one thing I really miss about undergrad.  If I needed to (or really wanted to in a case like the one Laura and I will be facing in about a week) I could take time off and keep running with the work without being buried or forced to take classes over again.  No room for that now.  I am forced to keep running, even if I'm about to crash and burn.  No time is planned in to let people get sick and recover.  Of all the places you would think that sort of thing would be taken into consideration they would have done that at a health professional school.

Regardless I am going to enjoy my time with my wife all the more.  She is going to be sick of me.  I may be getting a bit clingy.

So with all the tests done we know a lot of things that aren't the cause of Laura's phantom pain.  The good thing about the list is that we have eliminated some scary pain causers.  Like cancer.  Laura and I both agree it is better to suffer from some mystery pain than to suffer pain from a terminal disease.  Pain you can live through or with (most of the time) death is a bit harder to survive.  Of course being of the faith Laura and I both are death is merely a separation for a time from loved ones here, a separation that is not permanent.  Fortunately the separation Laura and I are currently dealing with is drawing to the end.  Thank goodness.

43 days down, 6 left

Survivor's guide: day 42

Final count down!  Not much longer now and the volcano seems to be playing nice.

I had a nice weekend with my family.  I'll get ti see them again later in the summer when we meet up at my grandparents.  It is where they are right now.

I cleaned up the house.  Didn't get to do it as part of my usual weekend ritual which is fine cause family was here.

Tomorrow Laura goes in for another set of blood tests.  Apparently the last one didn't check for infection so that is what they are doing tomorrow.  Odd that didn't happen but what ever.  They'll inform Laura whether or not she has an infection or not.  Another test down any way.

Laura will be home next week.  I am so excited.  I feel more anxious and emotional than I did at the beginning.  I figure that is because she is going to get home soon and I know it.  Hard to wait when it is so close and it is m other half coming home.  This is more exciting than Christmas!  I can hardly contain myself.

42 days down, 7 to go!

Survivor's guide: day 41

So dinner was absolutely fabulous.  I'm tooting my own horn as I made it but really it was good.

Today ends the visit of my family.  We have been playing games and enjoying the weather.  I'm glad they stopped by but at the same time there departure is signifies the nearness of the end of my singleness.  Hooray for that.

The meal I made cost the same as if you were to buy it for two people and fed more than the 5 of us.  Very filling very yummy.  Bajio is where we used to get this.

Iceland's volcano seems to be settling.  I'm hoping it isn't getting ready for a big show.  Laura is worried about getting stranded in Amsterdam.  Rather she is getting prepared in case it happens, both of us feel as if there is nothing to worry about.

41 days down, 8 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 40

Looks like the volcano is settling enough to let Laura get home to me.  Hopefully it settles enough to be nice to the Icelanders.

Today was a day full of adventure and tasty food. WE went to the jelly belly factory where my family has not been to.  It was fun seeing their wide eyed amazement at the process.  It really is quite amazing when you consider the sheer volume of beans that are made.    They have a new flavor now, honey. Surprising really that they haven't made it until now.  It is really tasty.

We also went to Mt. Diablo park.  It is a huge park.  We drove up to the top.  When we saw the huge line we were hungry and didn't want to wait to get in, pay for a five minute look about, then leave.  So we made a U-turn. The ride up was quite nerve racking.  A sheer drop was on the side as we were coming up, my side.  I don't like heights much, I don't like it when it looks like we are going to roll off and tumble to our slow and painful death.

I made burgers for dinner tonight.  Tomorrow it will be sweet green chili chicken quesadillas.  Yum yum.

40 days down, 9 to go :D

Survivor's guide: day 39

Last legs that is for sure.  Thank goodness for that.  On the flip side I feel like I may be on my last legs as well :S

Fortunately my family is with me this weekend.  They have been all Disneyed out and are ready for my kind of fun, just relaxing.  I'm good with that.

I still need to try and get some Laura time in though.  I need to know she is okay.  I love my family but with Laura it is different.  It isn't terribly hard for me to go long periods with out seeing my family.  I chat with them occasionally and such but as most of us do we all grow up and leave the nest.  We become individuals from our family and establish ourselves where we can.   It is part of us really.  Yet without Laura this is just the pits.  I miss her.

Fortunately the missing is drawing to an end.  I'll be able to see her once more and we will both be happier and better spouses for it I think.  I know the lessons we have learned could have been done elsewhere and without having us be separated, which I would have preferred, but I am grateful to have learned them.

39 days down, 10 to go!

Survivor's guide: day 38

Steadily the days drop as the return of my wife grows ever nearer.  Of course there is is a twist in the story.A little country covered in ice (at least during the winter), known as Iceland, has a volcano going off. This is not great new for its inhabitants but it effects my wife because all flights have been cancelled in and out of the UK.  The volcanic ash contains silica which is no good for engines, particularly when the engine is in the air keeping people up in the air.

Tomorrow my family arrives.  I'm looking forward to that, though they do disturb my usual weekend webcam chat with Laura.

Early night for me, I have an early morning.  Also I have some studying to finish up.

38 days down, 11 more to go (if the volcano cooperates).

Survivor's guide: day 37

Not much longer now.  Thank goodness for that.

Another short post as I have to get some tidying up in before bed.  I have family coming this weekend.

Today was particularly special.  I was able to video chat with my wife today.  Not very often I have the chance to do that after school.  She had a doctor's appointment today and she'll go in again next week.  They are still trying to figure things out.  Really weird too.  She is having another blood test cause during the first one they only tested for one thing, and other such nonsense.  Really the number of tests being done should have only take a couple of weeks to get done.  I don't know why they are doing what they are doing.  Oh well.  Things will get sorted eventually.

Laura will be back soon and I am really glad to have her back.  I miss my better half.  She really is the other half of me.  She is a real blessing in my life.

37 day down, 12 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 36

I have only a few moments, I have to study for my micro exam.

Tomorrow Laura goes into the Dr's.  We are hoping the Doc has received laura's ultrasound results so we can figure out what the heck is bothering her.

Anyways it is only two weeks until I go pick my wife up.  Thanks goodness I will be out of this hell soon.  I love Laura so much can hardly wait.  I'm super excited.

At least this experience has taught Laura and I to appreciate the time we have together.  We do enjoy our time together but we will do so even more now.  At least something good has come of this long distance thing.  That and Laura has seen a Doc.

36 days down, 13 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 35

Final two weeks.  I am so glad this is separation will be over with. 

So as I will be having family up this weekend I decided I would cook a meal for them.  I really miss Bajio.  Really good place in my college town of Rexburg.  Who would have thought podunk Rexburg, ID would have such a good restaurant. Anyways I decided I would make sweet green chili chicken for my family.  I'll let them decide with they make it into a salad or quesadilla.  Of course I couldn't make it for them and have it be my first time, I mean what if the taste-a-like recipe actually tasted like shoe?  So I made the chili chutney and some sweet rice and had it with my tortellini salad.  It was fantastic.  You can take a look at the pictures if you don't believe me.  It was delicious.  

I am a little jealous that my family is so close and yet so far away being in Disneyland.  I'd rather be anywhere than at school.  I love school but I need a good break.  That week break was sad.  Of course if I got to be anywhere but here I would rather I was with Laura.

Well I need to clean up my mess from dinner.  I have studying I need to do as well for the exam I have next week so I can spend time with my family this weekend.

35 days down, 14 to go.  

Survivor's guide: day 34

Well only two more weekends without my wife.

I'm so ready to have her back with me.  It feel incomplete, as if a part of me has been ripped from me.  More than just a part of my body.  It is as if a part of my very being is missing.  I know it is cheesy but it is true.  I need my wife just like I need food or water.  I never thought I could let someone so deeply into my life.  What a wonder that is.

I had dinner with friends tonight.  It was tasty, tomato soup with cheese, avocado, green onion and cheese.  Really tasty.  Corn chips were also involved.

This Friday my sisters and parents will be with me for the weekend.  I am really looking forward to it.  At least I won't be spending the weekend alone.

Church was good today, it is almost every Sunday really.  Only gets ruined when I do something.  While I am a little behind on my scripture reading goal I think I am pretty close.  I'm midway through 1 Samuel.

Well I'm off.  I need sleep.

34 days down, 15 days to go!

Survivor's guide: day 33

I skipped yesterday I know but I got busy.

Today went by pretty quick.  I studied mostly and played some tiger golf on the wii.  It was a nice break.

I got a lot of cleaning done as well.  Laura will be glad to come home to only a small disaster instead of the one she was expecting.

Next weekend my family will be in town.  I got all the food I needed to make a dish we like from bajio.  Sweet green chili chicken, really good.  Laura found the recipe and it will be my first time making it so I am hoping it all works out well.  I'll post some picture of it when I make it.

I hung out with some friends today from church,  I'll be having dinner with them tomorrow too.  It will be nice seeing as it will be a meal that is not out of a box.  I don't know what it is but I am getting a little tired of mac and cheese so I am sure it will be better than that.  yum.

Not long now before I am reunited with my other half.

33 days down, 16 left.  Hoora!

Survivor's guide: day 31

Next week end my folks will be in town, the week aft they leave my wife comes home.  No offence family but I am way more excited about her return than your visit.

My wife had a busy day today.  I was worried I wouldn't be able to chat with her much, which always makes my days feel that much longer.  I dread not being able to chat with her.  Well as the day would have it it looked like I was not going to be saying much to Laura.  I think I was able to ask her how she was doing and barely got a response to that.  She finally got back to me at 3 our time.  I was only able to say good night to her but I found that was the most important part of my chatting with her.  I got to let her know how much I love her and wish her sweet dreams.  Just like when she is here with me.  I'm the last one she speaks to before sleeping.  Of course many days I am the only one she speaks to verbally :S.  Regardless it meant a lot to me.

Funny how some men would see this as a vacation.  I don't know how they could possibly see it as such.  Then again maybe the time is much shorter than two months.  Still I hate leaving to go to school without my wife.  I know I will see her when I get back but still I don't like it.  I miss her.  Those days are way better than these two months.  At least Laura will be proud of how well I have kept the house.

31 days down, 18 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 30

It is amazing that I'm almost through my second week of school already, means I have a test coming up soon.

My sisters graduate from BYU-Idaho this week.  They are going on a big trip with my parents.  They will stop by next weekend.  I am afraid I may not be as fun as they hope, but I will still enjoy having them around.

I am running out of dinner ideas for myself.  I really need my wife around.  I need a hug more than a new dinner menu.

I finished yet another project for Laura.  I've done four.  The videos I sent to Laura was one of them.  I needed to give her something so those vids were easy to send through e-mail.

I've been exercising yet I don't have anyway to track what is going on.  I hope I'm doing something.  I'd hate to put all this effort in and get no return.

Long day ahead of me.  I'm off to bed.

30 days down, 19 to go.  : D

Survivor's guide: day 29

Three weeks until I will be picking up my wife and snuggling her again.  Thank goodness for that.

Today my wife had her ultrasound.  They were checking her ovaries to make sure they were okay.  They are happy.  So with both tests down we now know that Her body isn't trying to eat itself alive.  This is a good thing. The bummer thing about it is Laura still as a bit of pain that we don't know the cause of.  It is, as far as I understand, the normal level of pain she has been putting up with.  No new spike of pain since that night so long ago.  I just want her, as does she, free of pain.  At least it looks like she won't have to be staying in the UK longer than what we had planned.

I loved the dinner I had tonight.  Laura hates it so I figures it would be a good idea.  I had my own version of chili mac.  I use bake beans instead of chili.  I like the beans and the flavor.  Laura doesn't really like beans so there we go.  One of the reason she doesn't like her own sloppy joes that I love so much.

So it is obvious, and expected, that I miss my wife.  Today we were able to chat more than yesterday so that was nice.  Still it is hard being with out her.  The house is empty and stale without her presence to brighten it.  I miss her smell.  I sprayed a bit of her perfume on my pillow last night to help me sleep.  It is a smell she wears quite regularly.  Sadly it has faded from her pillow.  It actually eased some of the missing if only a little.

I am quiet excited about the end of Laura's tip drawing near.

29 days down, 20 days to go

Survivor's guide: day 28

Second week of school.  Why does it seem like it has been so much longer.

Today has been terribly long.  I don't know why.  I was looking back at the past four weeks and it seems like they have gone by really quick, but then the days go really slow it seems.  I also find myself writing to Laura as if years have passed by instead of weeks.

Wrote Laura a poem and an email.  she likes getting those.

Sadly today I didn't get to chat much with my wife.  I think that makes days feel longer too.  Her day was super full.  It is important that she spend time with the family she has there.  Still makes my days go by longer.

Tomorrow is Laura's ultrasound to see if they can figure out the cause of her pain.  I'm hoping for a quick fix.

Lately I have been finding myself waking up snuggling the blanket as if it was Laura.  I really need a hug.  Fortunately her trip is on the down hill side of things.

Three weeks left.  Thank goodness.

28 days down, 21 to go

Survivor's guide: day 27

Happy Easter.  Today was the last day of general conference.  I always like general conference.  Didn't used to but I've grown to it.

I had a wonderful time chatting with my wife today.  I made her a little video with some of our summer fun.  We always have adventures and I'm looking forward to this summer break.  We will be heading up to Oregon to visit with my grandparents and see my two sisters.  They both graduate this week.  It is quite exciting.  We also have a dear friend who is graduating and then moving on to podiatry school.  He'll make a good doc.

I had a good easter dinner.  Left over grilled cajun chicken.  I am a real big fan of cajun food.

Tuesday Laura goes in for an ultrasound to see if they can spot the cause of her side pain.  Odd thing.

I did laundry this weekend.  Laura usually does it.  She likes fabric softener.  I'm not really bothered one way or another but I found myself missing the smell because it reminds me of her.  I used some today.  Now if I could just find a way to get a hug from her I would be set.  Both of us miss it.

Good thing is we are fast running out of days apart.

27 day down, 22 to go

Survivor's guide: day 26

Not a very exciting day.  I did watch general conference which was really good.

I got to chat with Laura.  She came on pretty late in the morning (I was up way early).  Laura was baking all sorts of goodies with her mom.  I thought I might not get the chance to chat with her.  It was really distressing seeing as I was looking forward to it all week.  She finally did get on and we had a good chat and such.  She distracted me so I missed the last session of conference today, but I'll get both tomorrow.

I gave Laura a gift I picked up for her.  A lava lamp.  She loves the darn things.  I was going to keep it as a surprise for when she got back.  She sent the cupcakes though so I wanted to give her something in return.  She loved it.  I don't think she was expecting it at all.  She loves pink so there you go.  It looks cooler in real life than in the picture.

Well that was my day in a nutshell.  Time to write Lor a poem.

26 days down, 23 to go

Survivor's guide: day 25

So today I came home to a package on my step.  What I found are pictures above.  I cupcake set.  It is pretty cool.  Of course I assume my wife got them for me but it did have her name on it.  I'll be eating them so Laura if you want them you better speak up quickly.  This week went by fast enough.  My first week of school of the new quarter done and over with.  Rough week but I've made it through everything all right.

I had a great dinner, pictured below.  Blackened chicken with grilled onions on the mashed potatoes.  I also finished off my risotto.  That was really good stuff, would have made Laura happy to have it.  She's probably salivating right now.  Yum!

Tomorrow is general conference for us Mormons.  I'll get to chat with my wife all weekend.  I look forward to that.  

Today On my way home from school I saw a car that had some how driven over the side walk and into bushes, facing down hill.  It was really odd cause of where the accident happened it seemed an improbable event.  Doesn't look like anyone was hurt which is a good thing.

Well I'm digging into those cupcakes.

25 days down, 24 to go

Survivor's guide: day 24

Hooray for finally making it to the hump of this awful separation from my better half.

I made a little video for her today.  It was some of my favorite wedding day pictures put to one of our favorite songs.

I'm ready for this week to be over.  Don't know what it was about this week but it is just bleh.

Nice thing about it though is Easter is coming up and I got a package full of goodies from my mom.  Of course she packed it as if Laura were still here so there will be plenty left for Lor when she gets home.

Down with another uneventful day.

24 days down, 25 to go

Survivor's guide: day 23

Nothing really exciting today.

I got to chat with Laura.  We played some solitaire showdown on MSN too.  It was fun.  I had a nice relaxing day off from school.  I cleaned the oven and did some other things house maintenance related.  I told Laura about it and she said I made a good housewife.  Keeping the house clean makes it feel like Laura is here.  I like that.

The big thing for today is that We have hit pretty close to half way now.  Yeah for the down hill of things.  I look forward to this weekend when I can chat with Laura some more.

Well I'm away to eat dinner and such.

23 days down, 26 to go

Survivor's guide: day 22

Today has gone by quick.  I'm thankful for that.

I have noticed as time goes on without my wife I am beginning to normalize some.  At least enough that I am functioning.  I don't wander around in circles as much any more.  There are those days but fortunately they aren't as often.  Of course looking back it has only really been twenty-two days that have passed and I am talking like it has been months.  Maybe I'm not doing as well as I thought.  It is really hard to tell when days seem like months, and weeks years.

So I snagged this picture of Laura from when we were chatting a bit ago.  I really miss those eyes.  I miss all of her but I fell in love with those eyes.  Laura is probably turning all red from reading this but that is alright, it is my job to embarrass her with sweet and nice things.  When we were first dating we were in separate countries (so we have had experience with the long distance thing before now) and I wrote an email to the local radio station requesting a song.  I believe it was "I Swear", I think Laura had said she had never heard the song before.  It also was around some holiday or something, maybe I was doing it just because.  I don't recall that part but I do know that it played twice.  I guess two DJ's got my email (I think I still have that somewheres stored away for safe keeping). I listened to the radio station online and only caught the second request.  The DJ read my entire email out, I had only intended for the DJ to read a small portion, the rest I had thrown in to gain the sympathy of the DJ and play the song.  Anyways I was chatting with Laura as she heard it.  She got good and embarrassed.  I think she was quite chuffed about it too though.  I'm pretty good at embarrassing her when I shouldn't though too.  I'm working on it.  Don't worry Laura I won't write your local DJ's again.  Maybe next time :P

I made sloppy joes again for dinner and they still didn't turn out as tasty as when Laura is here.  I could understand it if Laura was the one making the darn things for me but I'm the one cooking them for me regardless.  Occasionally Laura will make them for me and they taste better when she makes them, but why can't I be consistent?  I'm beginning to think Laura spits in them or something when my back is turned.

Well its getting late and I have things to do, like get to project number four.  Which I have decided I may as well have a project per week until Laura gets home.  It'll be fun for her.

22 days down, 27 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 21

I love leftovers.  What a great way to get a meal up and going quickly.

Today was the first day of classes.  These days go slower than when I was on break.  Fortunately I have Wednesday off.  I hope I have the chance to chat with Laura.

Laura was going to have a photo shoot this week but she got snowed out.  I guess I'm glad I'm not in Scotland for the snow.  Then again to have my wife with me I would take the snow.

I'm glad to be back in school, even if I felt the break went by too quickly.  Had a really good lecture this morning that got me revved up again.

It wasn't a very busy day today and I have a poem to write and sleep to catch.  Maybe something more exciting will happen tomorrow.

21 days down, 28 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 20

So Sunday dinners with Laura and I are kind of fancy.  We try and make them a little nicer compared to the rest of the week.  It was something her mum did so we just picked it up.  Last week I didn't have to worry about it cause I was in Seattle and the week before I think I failed at that.  French toast pizza does not count as fancy.  Today though I did much better.  And found another heart sticky note Laura left behind.  I had risotto for the first time, and it is pretty tasty.  Granted it was out of a box but I think it is something I will try and make on my own.  I also had Jamaican Chicken stuff (it was from a bag, precooked) with mashed potatoes (I know it doesn't really go with rice) and corn.  My plate was colorful.

I finished up my 3rd project for Laura.  I have another one already lined up.  Laura is going to have so much stuff she won't know what to do with it.  I don't know if she'll have a place to keep it all.

So I think the sticky note I found has to be one of the last ones, it was on the risotto box.  I haven't thrown any of them away.  I try and keep them where I find them.  In this case though I had to move the note, I stuck it in a journal I've been writing poetry for Laura in.  I figure that was an appropriate place to put it.

Laura starts her 3rd block of school tomorrow.  It has math, which she loathes, but I know she will do just fine.

The end of my break is here and I'm sad to see it come.  I really enjoyed being able to talk to Laura for most of my day.  At least I can text her, thank you gmail.

Well I'm away to get some sleep.

20 days down 29 to go.  Almost half way.

Survivor's guide: day 19

Today's dinner went better than yesterdays.  Ravioli salad.  As far as I know it is something Laura came up with.  Really tasty.  I never have had it, or heard of it till Laura served it to me.

Today Laura took her final.  She thought she had two but only had the one.  It was kind of funny.  I was on webcam with her the entire time.  She is not a stress free test taker.  I felt bad for her.  I just wanted to take her test for her.  She cute when she gets all wound up though.

My week of vacation is over.  I'm surprised at how fast it went by.  I'm glad to be getting  back to school though.  Me getting back to school means Laura is almost home. That is a good thing.  I'm looking forward to it.

I started another Project for Laura today.  I wanted to tell her all about it, she'll like it a lot.

Today was a fairly empty day.  Nothing big going on. The most exciting thing, aside from my chat with my wife, was the cover to the exhaust fan over the stove fell off.  That was a big crash.

Well I'm away to write my wife.

19 down, 30 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 18

So yesterday I posted about my dear wife and her grimace of agony.  She's feeling much much better.  I can't wait for her to get all the Doc visits done with so we know what it is that is hurting her so.

I really can hardly wait to have my wife back again.  I miss her a lot.  I noticed that one of the big things she does for me is dinner, or any other meal, prep.  See I have a hard time deciding what I want when I am hungry, especially if I have to figure it out by simply looking at the ingredients.  It has always been a wonder to me how people can take apparently random things and make something fantastic. Have you ever considered what goes into making your favorite dish?  One of mine is Chicken Tikka Masala.  I am a HUGE fan of indian curries.  I am also partial to some thai curries as well.  There is not a bush out there the grows curry spice.  It is a mixture of spices.  Then you have to consider the base for the sauce and all it's flavors.  The chicken was the easy part of that recipe.  Laura is great at making meals.  Usually I'll ask what is for dinner.  Her response is to ask me what I would like.  I usually say one of two things (yes Laura you know what is coming next) "I dunno I'm just hungry" or "Food".  Not very helpful to Laura at all.  Yet she makes a fantastic meal every single time and it is always what I wanted.

Tonight I paced around the house trying to figure out what I wanted to eat.  I finally just made some refried bean wraps.  I did know what I wanted for dessert though.  I stopped by the produce stand the other day.  I told Laura about picking up some fresh strawberries, which she told me would go well with the Passion Fruit ice cream we had.  I took it a bit further and made a fruit salad topped with a bit of the ice cream.  It was fantastic.  Laura was right about the passion fruit ice cream going well with the strawberries, it also went well with the kiwi, orange, and banana.

Today I checked to see how much longer I was going to be living the single life (totally sucks by the way, I made the best decision ever getting married young) and was thoroughly disappointed to see that only two and a half weeks had actually gone by.  So while on my school break the days seem to be vanishing quickly, they aren't vanishing fast enough to get Laura back to me sooner.

I need another project. that will speed things up.

18 days down, too many to go (31).

Survivor's guide: day 17

So today was a hard day.  I think more so on my wife.

She was finishing up a paper for school.  I didn't get to chat with her much which is fine, she needed to get that school work done.  I read over her paper to help her out.  It was as after Laura told me she was heading up stairs to video chat with me things did not go well.  She placed the video call and then I saw her walking around a bit then I was left to watch an empty room for about fifteen minutes.  When Laura finally came back she looked miserable and in terrible pain.  She left again for a long while, then my mother-in-law came on told me Laura was away to take a bath and that she was going to be okay.  My mother-in-law said she'd make sure Laura would call a doc and visit.  When Laura came back we were able to say goodnight and that was it.  She told me not to worry, of course we both were worried.  Though we both pretended not to be.

So Laura goes to bed, worried about me worrying and about herself, and I am left to wonder how my wife is.  I really wish I was there to help her.  Wish I could give her a nice big boasie to make her feel better.

To help me not worry I've been cleaning what ever I can.  I wrote her a nice e-mail too.  Laura get better, that is an order.  I think it is the first one I have ever given you.  FYI this is what hell is.

17 days down, 32 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 16

I was thinking my days without school and without Laura were going to be long and hard.  Surprisingly these days seem to be going faster than when school is in.  Who would have thought that being at school then coming home would make the alone time seem longer?  Not that my days don't go by quick while I am in school I just thought that while on my own things would be longer.

I love my wife so much.  We had a good chat today.  She made a few videos about her day.  Today she had blood drawn for testing and sometime later she'll be going to have an ultrasound done.  We are hoping it is something they can take care of quickly.  We really want her to get better.  She deserves it.

I did some shopping for myself.  When I filled the basket I noticed it was mostly boxed foods.  I did stop by the vegetable stand though and picked up some good stuff.  Fresh berries and such.

I miss my parents elliptical machine already.  I did some exercise video today and I'm sore.  Mostly at the joints. I need to stretch.

Well I'm off to write my wife.  Then to bed.

16 down 33 to go.  Praying Laura doesn't have to extend her visit.

Survivor's guide: day 15

These past few weeks really have gone by fast.

I made it back to CA safely.  I didn't even get lost on the public transit.  Or dismembered, shot, seriously injured or some other form of injury that would ruin your day.  I was worried that when I got back home that I would suffer from the same shell shocked experience I did the first night Laura was gone.  Fortunately I was able to chat with her so all is good.

After all this travel I'm finding I don't need Laura as a travel guide.  I'm sure she'll enjoy that news because now she can just be my travel buddy.  Things should be more relaxed for her.

So I got mostly Laundry done today and didn't do much with the rest of the house.  I need to clean the bedroom after my packing.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.  I don't have a lot to do and I enjoy being able to have something to focus on to get me through the long days.

I may not need my wife to get me situated if public transportation, but it certainly is hard to give myself hugs and kisses and impossible to snuggle up at night.  I need her for much more important things.  Like boasies.

I get one from her in 34 days

Survivor's guide: day 14

The days just seem to pass too quickly.  In a week I start school again.  Tomorrow morning I fly back to California.  It will be nice to get back home.  I always need a break from my vacations.

Tomorrow will be interesting as i will be riding public transit on my very own for the first time.  Usually my better half takes care of that.  I've only ever really been on public transit in the UK with my lovely better half.  I just hope I don't get lost.

I had a fun time here in Seattle.  I will miss it that is for sure but there is something about going home that is exciting.  Of course the home will be empty and cold.  Supposedly I have a package or two that will be waiting for me when i get home.  That make it worth while I suppose.  I really wish I were in the UK.  But running away from things doesn't make them go away.  All you are left with is something to chase you.

I'm not excited about changes being made here in the states.  Really it is unconstitutional to force people to "buy" something even if it is for there own good.  It is like telling me what religion I have to believe or worship, or forcing me to exercise.  I wish Laura were here.  I could hug her and things would be much better, even if things are crap.

I miss Laura.  I am still looking for another project to do for my wife.  I hope I can find something before I run out of stuff with my current projects.  Cryptic I know but Laura reads this blog (more regularly than I do) and I can't have her figuring out what it is I am doing.  Of course knowing my wife like I do she is just pretending that she doesn't know when really she does.

Well it is off to bed for me.  Oddly enough I am looking forward to getting home to clean up a bit.

Survivor's guide: day 13

Today was the last day of communication isolation between my wife and I thank goodness.  We were only able to pretty much say hello and goodnight but it was a much needed and much appreciated.

Church was interesting today being back in my home ward with people I grew up with and church leaders.  Especially when my better half is not with me.  It was better than I thought it would be.  I was worried about it being awkward and it wasn't too bad at all.  Usually Laura's back keeps us from staying the whole time, pews were not ergonomically made or made with back injuries in mind.  Today I made it through all 3 hours.  First time in a long time.  Also I am on track with my scripture reading.  I have made it through Deuteronomy and am into The book of Joshua.

My wife was in Irvine this weekend where she spent a good portion of her youth.  I really look forward to her showing me her old haunts someday.

Today I was able to spend time with some dear friends of mine.  I have been friends with him for as long as I can remember and he and his wife have a great couple of kids with a third on the way.  They are just like family and I love spending time with them.  We used to live close to one another where we went to college in Idaho.  We spent quite a bit of time together.  They practically lived with us for about a week or so while they settled in.  It was good to reconnect with them again.

Good friends definitely help easy missing of my best friend.  13 days down 36 more to go.

Survivor's guide: day 12

Today was an easy day.  After yesterday's hike my legs needed it.  The calves were still burning.  I've attached some pictures of the falls.  I love the hike and I like getting out doors for fresh air and exercise.  My dad was up for another hike today but instead we played settlers of catan.  I love that game.  Laura and I found a site online where you can play it for free.  We used to play it almost every sunday.  We haven't done that in a while.  I hope we start that mini tradition up again while she is away.

Dad and I played a few games of golf on the wii.  We both play as Tiger, of course, seeing as that is how about our skill level out on the real grass.  Golf really is fun, when you are playing it, the strategy involved and such is a blast.  My dad and I are pretty evenly matched too.  We usually don't win/lose to the other by too many points.

Today I was going to write Laura a bit of a poem.  I wanted it to have a different tone from the others I have written her lately.  I was thinking of her and I wanted to see a picture of her and realized I don't really have any pictures of my own of my wife.  It is something that will needed to be rectified.  Hopefully Laura will send some to me soon.  I looked at some of her pictures on facebook but I still want to have more in my wallet.  I don't know why we haven't gotten around to do that.  I have more pictures of my lovely wife on the computer at home just none with me.

So far this weekend has been harder than the few days prior to my trip.  I haven't had the chance to chat with Laura at all.  She has been away from a computer.  Tomorrow though I think I may get a chance to talk with her some.  I'm hoping that will be the case.

It has been a nice relaxing day.  I'm amazed that almost 2 weeks have passed.  12 days down 37 to go.  Little over a month to go.

As promised some pictures from the hike.

Survivor's guide: day 11

Today was filled with a  hike.  I went with my dad up to Wallace falls.  It is a nice hike, long and up.  Lots of up. It took us a good three hours to get up and down.

I have found exercise is great for passing the time while the other half is gone.  It kills time, gives me time to think about things, and the endorphins running around my body make me feel better.  A side benefit is by the time Laura gets back hopefully I will have lost the slight keg I was putting on.  I'm not trying for a six pack but the belly flab can go.

Meals were made super easy today with all the left overs from yesterday.  Having gone out twice gives plenty of food.

I'm looking again for another thing I can work on for Laura while she is gone.  I already have two I am working on, small but big things, and I'm sure I'll eventually need the third one.  I've run out of names for the projects so.  I may come up with one when i am less sleepy.

I missed having my wife to chat with.  I didn't get to say hello or anything.  I won't until she gets back to Montrose Sunday evening.  We use gmail to chat, mostly texts to my cell phone.  Nothing of the sort today as she is not near a computer.  I miss my friend.

One thing I try to do every day that helps me get through is writing Laura and email.  It give me a chance to share my thoughts and feeling with her and that surprisingly takes care of most of the separation ache.  Well I'm off to write that email I mentioned.  Laura will be expecting one after she reads this post.

Survivor's guide: day 10

It has been a lovely day here in the Seattle area.  My time here is going to end up passing quickly I think.

My wife had a doctors appointment today.  There was some poking and prodding and she'll go back for some more tests later.

She's going to Irvine this weekend with here parents.  which means I won't have her to chat with at all until possibly Sunday.  It is going to be hard.  I have been able to say hello to Laura at least every day since she left.  I don't know how I'll cope without some communication with her.  Communicating, even a gmail txt, has been my lifeline.

Today I went out with family and ended up at Target.  It is one of Laura's favorite stores.  I wanted to get her something but I don't know what I would have gotten her.  Besides I'm not sure I'd have enough room in the small bag I packed to get.

Today has been a good lazy day without any pressure of doing this or that.  I have enjoyed it.

Ten days have passed since I have been without my other half.  That is one fifth of this time that is now over.  I can hardly wait for the day when Laura and I will be in the airport hugging and enjoying one another's company again.  We are going to do the best we can to make sure we don't have to be separated this long ever again.

I have found exercise to be a great means of countering the gaping whole in my life.  It keeps me from eating too much.  I love food and take comfort in it.  Don't worry Laura I won't become a blob before you get home.  In fact I hope to trim up some.

Well it is getting late and I need some sleep.  The key to not getting teary eyed is to avoid doing those things you normally do with the other half.  For me that is eating at places like Burger King where we'd share some fries.

Survivor's guide: day 9

Finished my finals and now I have to face all the free time I will have.  Fortunately I am with my family for a few days.  Hopefully I get the chance to hang out with some old friends up here.

As I flew home there was an empty seat between myself and a fellow passenger.  Reminded me of who should have had that seat.  Another first.  not one that I really want to have but a first all the same flying without my other half for the first time in 6 years.  It was a nice quick flight.  In fact it was one Laura made last week.  During the first leg anyways she flew up to Seattle and from there out of country.

I saw a lot of families.  Young ones too.  Never seems to be an end of reminders of what you don't have with you.

It was crazy the chaos of southwest's boarding procedures.  You wouldn't think get on find a seat and sit would be so difficult but it is.  That and people bringing carry on luggage that is really too big.  By about half a foot, then they complain there is no room in the over head bins.

I;m glad to be in Seattle that is for sure.  Nothing like having family near by.

Survivor's guide: day 8

I can hardly believe that a week has past.  Every day seem to go on forever yet when I look back time has already passed.  This round of finals is coming to an end thank goodness.  A week break and then back to the grindstone again.

I think Laura would be impressed with how tidy I am keeping the house.  It isn't as clean as she likes it but it hasn't been getting any dirtier.  And no it is not because I have totally trashed the place so it can't get any dirtier. I just have lots of school stuff out that I need to tidy up.  That should restore the house to its normally pristine nature.

It is funny how the small things creep up on you and catch you off guard.  For instance Laura loves watching the show "Friends".  She watched it growing up and so it is something I have picked up.  In fact it made her day how fast I caught on to all the characters in the show.  We have it DVR so we can record and watch them together.  I was going to watch one, while I ate dinner causes I don't have my usual talking companion, and I couldn't.  I could not watch it without Laura.  It felt wrong.  It felt awkward watching it with out Laura.

Same thing goes with some ice cream we bought before she took off.  I find it very hard to even think about eating it without getting emotional.  I'm usually sharing with Laura.  It is the one time she lets me feed her.  Tried doing that with dinner and she takes the fork from my hand and feeds herself.  She is very independent but I love her.  It actually bothers her when I try doing that, something I found out ages ago.  I guess it is not as terribly romantic as the movies would have you think, go figure.

I was just thinking how quiet Laura is.  She doesn't say much, too busy thinking about stuff, and it has been interesting to see how that translates over the distance.  I forgot what it was like when we first met online.  She does talk more over the web cam now though compared to then.  So if you think she is quiet with you don't worry she is that way with almost everyone.  There are only a few she will open up to.

She would have been happy today with me getting home so early.  She loves that.  I wonder if the next week will be as fast paced as this on was.  What to do with so much free time...

Survivor's guide: day 7

I am burned out on the finals thing.  I don't think I study any more.  My brain is full and my better half is not here to soothe my aching head.

I need a vacation for sure.  I keeping thinking of things I would like to do with Laura, only to remember she is not here.  Odd how one can simply forget something like that.  I'm so used to having her near by, within a whisper distance most of the time.

Spring break will be here soon enough for that I am grateful.  I need it.

I think project appreciate is complete. I've run out of stuff for it.  I keep scouring the back of my mind for something more but I have run dry it seems.  I need a new project.  I have something cooking in the back of my mind.

Staying focused has become a problem for me.  I'm a bit tired of school.  I have been going at it for seven years now straight.  That of course is not counting my time in elementary school and such.  I need a long break, which sadly I cannot take just now.  I look forward to a long break though.

So Christmas time last year my wife and I went back to Scotland.  While we were there some practical jokesters decided it would be funny to plant flower bulbs in some friends lawn.  It happens to be in a heart shape .  Today my wife went up to see the flowers, I guess they are annuals.  At least I assume she went to go see them as she said she was going up to Edzel to see the flowers.  That is what came to mind anyway.

So last night as I was trying to get to sleep I realized I was having some troubles falling asleep.  Being Sunday I typically reserve that day for not watching TV.  As I lay there I realized why I was having troubles getting to sleep.  I normally have a good chat with Laura as we lie in bed and she wasn't there.  I didn't realize I would have this problem cause the past couple of nights I feel asleep while watching the TV.  Odd how it happens.  Really when you think about it I spent 20 years going to sleep without chatting to anyone before hand.  Six years of marriage later and that is completely different.  I;d have thought it no big deal going back to the chatter-less nights. Guess I was wrong.

Next time Laura if you are going to leave me again you need to leave a recording I can fall asleep to okay?

Survivor's guide: day 6

This is the first time I have had to go through finals without my wife.  Oddly I feel no more or less stress about them with her gone.  I would love to have her here so I could celebrate with her about my scores but what can you do really?

Tonight dinner was out of a box again.  I need to find the recipes Laura left me.They should be tasty, the only worry I have is over eating.

Church was odd today.  Normally there is this older gentleman that will shake our hands and comment how happy we always look.  I sneaked past him today.  I didn't want people asking where Laura was.  Answering that question would have been an addition to the constant reminder that my wife is not wife me but rather elsewhere.

I was invited to go study with my class mates today.  I was sorely tempted.  I tend to study on my own cause I have a different style of studying that works for me.  I can work with others but I think if I had gone today I wouldn't have left until the hostess kicked me out for distracting everyone from there studies.  Would you want to return to an empty house?

Webcam makes this much easier though.  I don't know what I would do without it.  Laura and I get to video chat almost every day.  Lately she has been coming on as she is getting ready to pass out from a long day.  She looks really cute tired too.

A great way to pass time when I am thinking of Laura I have found is writing poems for her.  Nothing fancy, and probably only liked by her but it works.  I simply write out exactly what it is I am missing at that moment, like holding her hand and watching a movie, word for word.  Then I try translating it into something else entirely.  It's been fun.  Hopefully I get better at it by the time she gets back to me.

One weekend down 6 more to go.  I can hardly wait for this to be done with.  You'd better come back healthy my better half or we'll have words.  No more getting sick and leaving me alone.  I forbid it.  Please?

Survivor's guide: day 5

This day has been a long one.  I haven't left my house.  There was no need.

I've been preparing for finals all day.  I make power points to study from.  Works better than flash cards for me. I have most of my classes all worked out.  I just have to go over the slides.  Staying focused on my work makes it easier for me to be without the better part of me.

Video chatting also helps.  At least I get to see her.

Today I cleaned house.  First time I have had to do that all on my own.  Most of the time I just clean a few things.  Laura does most of it.  I try and get her to let me help but she likes doing it leaving me with the dishes (sometimes) and garbage duty.  I love her so much.  She reminds me every week about garbage even though I know I have to take it out.  I love her for that.  Not a nagging way at all but a simple reminder.  How can I forget the one chore I have?  I do it so Laura doesn't have to.  She hates the dishes and garbage most.  So I get to show her my love when I do that.  At least I hope she knows that.

Well it is late and I need to finish the last few slides of my study guide.  I think I need to come up with another project while my wife is away as I've nearly finished my other project.

5 days down 44 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 4

I can hardly believe it has only been 4 days since my wife and I have been apart.  I miss her dearly and she misses me.

I'm running out of stuff for project appreciation.  I didn't realize I would get through it that fast.  I guess I have been missing her more than I realized.  Fortunately I have school to keep me busy and that it has been doing.
I have seven finals to take next week and I need to get loads of studying done.  Surprisingly though I don't feel overly worried about any of the finals.

I finished the leftovers from Laura's parting meal.  I love mandarin chicken from Panda Express.  The sloppy joes I made last night were good but didn't taste the same as when Laura is here.  I make them for myself mostly but for some reason when she is here they taste better.  I guess she must put something in it that I am not aware of.

I wonder how tomorrow will be.  Usually I wake up, hope on the computer three hours before Laura wakes up.  When she comes out of the bedroom I run down the hall and give her a great big boasie.  Tomorrow will be the first Saturday I won't be doing that.  Saturday is also the day I have set aside for clean up.

My wife was worried the house would be a mess as soon as she left but I think I have done an alright job.  I had her leave me a list of things to do.  I'm looking forward to it actually.

Well I need to get back to my studies.  Can't fail out while my wife is away.

Survivor's guide: day 3

This one is a short one as I have a quiz to study for.

Tonight is sloppy joes.  I love the way my wife makes it (with baked beans) and Laura hates beans so I figure why not.  I look forward to it.

Today was a bad day not to have a scottish wife for a boasie.  Today I may have accidentally, more likely than not, killed our adopted lizard thing we named Charlie.  I didn't mean to.  I didn't realize that I would be crushing him as I shut the door.  I thought he was far enough away that he would be fine.  Besides that is where he was when I opened the door.  I hadn't seen Charlie in days and was quite excited to see him this morning.  I won't be seeing him any more.  He adopted us really.  He would squeeze in between the door and the door frame.  This morning I found him just out side the door frame.  I guess he moved when I closed the door cause there was plenty of clear space for him not to get squished.  I don't think Laura will let me be alone with our children after this.  Sorry Laura.

I have noticed that being separated from Laura is easier when I can chat with her on webcam.  While I can't hug or kiss Laura in that state I at least can hear her accent coming back.  She is my best friend.  Anyways I need to eat and study for finals and such.

Survivor's guide: day 2

Today was easier than yesterday was.  I was much better prepared for the screaming silence that would greet me as I entered my home.  I have also been able to direct my focus.  In fact I believe I blew both of my tests out of the water that I took today.  I have two more tomorrow and I am less apathetic towards those.

Yesterday was hard not knowing what was going on with my wife, whether she was okay or not.  Who would protect her?  Her would make sure she didn't hurt her back?  I know I would probably only be good at preventing her from hurting her back and if it really came down to it Laura would be the one saving my skin and not the other way around.  I would only be good as fodder and Laura with her Scottish heritage... well I'm sure you have all seen Braveheart and we will leave it at that.

I got a text this morning close to 2am from my wife telling me she arrived safely at her parents home.  I was surprised how relieved I was to hear that news.  It was hard not being in contact with her for that many hours.  No text messages or anything for most of my day.  When she comes back here I think it will be easier because while she is flying I will be busy and I will pick her up straight after school.

I also started a little project, which I lovingly refer to as project appreciation.  Sparing the details of it (as this is for my wife upon her return) the project is simply a means of returning the sticky note favor.  I have found that when ever I get lonely or something of that nature, if I work on that project I can settle my nerves.  Fortunately I live in a safe area where the neighbors are watching out for one another so I don't have to worry about being alone in my home.

It is odd how quite I am without Laura here.  I don't talk with anyone after school, and I find myself wondering how it would be to forget how to speak.  I know that won't happen to me but I think of myself as stranded sometimes.  Fortunately I haven't done laps around the house like a zombie or started talking to myself again.  I was just out of it yesterday.  Much like a stunned animal that was just hit by a car but not badly injured.  Funny how the brain does that to us.

I think I need to change up my dinner routine tomorrow.  I had the same dinner tonight as I did last night.  It was good but I think I need some variety.  French-bread pizza is only good to be tasty for only so long, and I have forty-eight more days to go of feeding myself.

I dread this weekend. I fear it will be one of the harder tests.  My normal routine is to stay up late on Friday snuggling my better half.  Bit hard to do that with an ocean between us.  We used to laugh when we would sit on opposite sides of the couch after I asked to snuggle.  Much easier to snuggle with a couch between us rather than the ocean.

I have good friends and colleges who have been keeping an eye on me, even if it is just a virtual.  I'm quite a private person and I try not to go too much into detail with what is going on in my life.  I think that is why I find it so hard to maintain a blog.  It is, after all, the means of baring one's soul to the universe known as the web.  Odd as it seems to me to share my life, I think this blog may keep me from going too crazy.  Of course that depends on who you ask.

Surviving without the other half guide: Day 1

My other half has flown to the lovely isle of Britain, specifically the Scottish portion of it.  For the next 49 days I am alone at home.  I have school fortunately but it is a small consolation for the gaping hole in my life this trip has put in it.  Part of the problem is Laura is my motivator.  I don't really feel motivated.  Fortunately or unfortunately the rest of my class is feeling unmotivated right now as well.

How did I get in this sticky mess with my other half, half way across the world?  Well it started out with some pain, followed by a hefty does of praying, prayers particularly on what we should do.  We had a choice to make and after much praying Scotland felt right, for many reasons.  Normally I would worry about biasing the answer because when you get an answer to prayer and it is something you want you have to pause a moment.  Being separated from my lovely wife is not something I wanted what so ever.  Nor did she want it.  If I had asked her yesterday not to go to Scotland she would have stayed.  I think there was a part of her that wanted me to ask her to stay.  I know that if I had asked her after she had checked into the flight she also would have stayed.  I couldn't of course, we both knew she needed to go.

So her I am trying to keep things together.  When I first got home today I started walking in circles, I didn't know what to do with myself.  Within forty-five minutes of being home I started talking to myself.  So far life on my own has been off to a rough start.  I think I have myself under control for a while.  I figure if I can focus on something, anything really, I'll be able to get through this rough sea of alone.  I wish I could focus on my finals I have coming up but sadly I just can't right now.  Sad really that I can't use my needed focus on school.

I learned something new about my wife today.  I thought she was a really quite person.  Truth be told she is more quiet than most.  I didn't realize how wrong I was to think she was as quiet as a mouse though.  That is one of the more unsettling things really.  The house is too big for the two of us, we don't even have that much stuff really to fill the house.  Now it is way too big.  I almost lost it when I saw all the sticky notes my wife left for me, particularly when I went to the bedroom and saw the one stuck to my pillow.  That one said "I love you" the rest she drew hearts.

I need to go make myself some food.  I think today is going to be the hardest of the forty-nine as it is the one furthest from her return to me.  From here on out each day is a step closer to my reunion with my best friend. The media would have me believe that I should be craving this alone time.  They really are wrong.  And they can stick it in their ear.  I don't care which one.  Until that day when Laura gets home to me I figure this blog will be my survival guide.  Kind of like survivor man or man vs wild only I have to last for seven weeks instead of just under one.

On a side note my heart goes out to the married armed service people who go out for long tours (is that what they call them?).  This sucks and you are putting you lives on the line to boot.  Thanks for your many sacrifices.

Lets see if I can manage cooking food without burning down the house...

It's the Final Countdown

This weekend my wife and I celebrated our 6th year anniversary. It was great fun.  We saw Alice in Wonderland.  The movie was good.  It wasn't what I expected at all.  I thought it would be essentially Alice in wonderland, the animated film, made into live action.  I was pleasantly surprised to find it was not.  My wife and I are usually pretty good at figuring out the plot twist before they come.  My little sister as surprised I was able to figure out the final events at mount mordor in the lord of the ring films without having read the books.  I was sure I had figured out some of the twists in Alice, only to find out I was wrong.  I enjoy being stumped like that.  I don't know if Laura had it figured out or not but I know I was surprised.

In a little over a day now I will be alone for seven weeks.  Laura is flying back home to Scotland to attend to several different things.  I have never been alone, especially for that long.  I got married to my lovely wife before I went to college.  I have always had family with me.  This is going to be a new experience for sure.  Fortunately I will have school keeping me busy so I don't think I will notice too much my being all on my own.  Of course when I cook dinner for Laura and I, I usually make way too much for the two of us.  I don't think that will change when I cook for myself.  I think there may still be leftovers when Laura gets home.

A sad as it is being separated from my best friend I really am excited for Laura.  She is going to have so much fun.  When ever we have gone together she never catches up with any of her friends, afraid that I'll feel left out or something (Really sweet of her but she need not worry about me). So this time she will have time to catch up with her friends and she will get to see her family and attend a wedding.

On the flip side of things Laura may regret going away for so long as when she gets back she may find I got us a dog...

Has it really been six years?

Next week is a big day for my wife and I.  We'll be celebrating our sixth year anniversary.  Time has flown by so quickly.  We've had lots of fun together and we work well together.  Laura was so excited about marrying me she didn't even let me propose.  Truth be told she mugged be for the ring in the middle of a dark park in Scotland.  I should have known then the trouble I was getting myself into but what can I say?  I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment.  We are planning on seeing Alice in Wonderland which should be lots of fun.

Most of our married life I have been a student and Laura has recently taken it upon herself to go to school.  She is currently a 4.0 student.  In my opinion that deserves some sort of reward but we don't have the money to do that so I guess having food will have to be the treat for good grades.  It's not much dear I know but you can eat this week :P.

Tomorrow is a big day for Laura.  I'm finally letting her meet one of my class mates.  I just hope she can behave herself.  Rarely can i take her out in public with her behavior.  Speaking with a "fake" British accent, being so polite and all that.  I've tried getting her to cut back but she is steadfast.  Oh well I love her to bits anyway.

Yesterday I had a super hard exam and I did really well on it.  I was so glad I passed.  Well off to class again.  Though it is a bit of a joke this class...

Crazy fast week

Last week just flew on by.  I had a few tests which kept me busy but I did well on.  On top of that the term is almost over for me thank goodness.  I need that week break.

I want to make more time for writing creatively but I don't know where all my time is going.   I need to manage it better I guess.  I think most of my time is actually spent in traffic.  At least it feels that way.  While I may not have the time I want to write I have been keeping up with my reading of the bible which I am glad of.  I made it into numbers last week.  I think I only have one more book of Moses to finish after this.  In my reading I found the definition (at least to me it is clear cut) of what the writers of the scriptures mean when they say virgin.  I know it seems like a very simple thing but it was suggested to me that what the writers meant when they said virgin was a young woman, regardless of intimate knowledge of the opposite gender or not.  This came up when someone suggested that Christ was made like any other child was with parents "knowing" each other.  In Lev. 21: 13 -14 it is clearly stated that a virgin absent of intimate knowledge of the opposite gender so I have no idea what they were talking about.  I think in Dueteronomy they may also spell it out.  

Also last week it was decided, most grudgingly, that Laura will be going to Scotland for a while.  Bleh!  Neither of us like the idea of being separated but both of us do think it to be the right thing to do.  Again the quantum teleportation device would be nice to have so I could pop over there to see her when ever.  Can we move the build date up to this weekend anybody?  She takes off the second week of March.  Right after our 6th year anniversary.  We are trying to not let that put a dampener on the time we have to spend together until she leaves for two months.  I think Laura is most worried about coming home and finding the house as a pile of rubble with me living in the shed.  She knows I'll be okay, she just doesn't know if I can keep the house okay.  Bummer deal of it is she is leaving the week before finals, and two weeks before my week break.  I don't know what I will be doing.  I think I may use that time to write.  This is of course assuming I can even get myself out of bed.  Don't worry Laura I'll still be around when you get back.  I promise.

As sad as our separation will be I am really excited for her to be able to visit family and the like.  We both miss Scotland and she will get everything done that she needs to over there.  I'm looking forward to seeing all the pictures she will be taking.  

Well back to school and such...

I dream of Rexburg!?

Oddly enough I find myself longing for the small little city known as Rexburg.  I think I may be looking for a little bit of security as right now I really am not feeling it.  While Laura and I didn't have tons of dispensable income we had enough money that if anything came up we could take care of it.  Right now I feel on the brink.  Not only was everything cheaper there in Rexburg I was near family (blood relatives and dear friends I consider family) now I feel a bit adrift.  I sometimes wonder if this is really what I want to be doing with my life.  Could someone please build an alternate reality machine where I am able to view possible outcomes of my life had certain variables been different?  I think it would be really handy and perhaps we all would be able to make better personal life choices.  I see some of my high school friends who went into the computer industry, like I had thought about doing, working and moving on with life in general.  I feel stuck.  I keep spending money I don't have and still need to come up with more money to pay for my education without knowing where to find it.

Laura and I need health insurance but I have no idea where the money is going to be coming from for that.  Everybody wants my money that I don't have, including myself.  Don't get me wrong I don't expect it to get much different after I start working as a chiropractor.  I know people are still going to be after my money but at least I will be making money to give away to people.  I get student loans equivalent to just under most starting yearly income jobs.  Needless to say it has me panicked.

What a gloomy post.  Happy Valentines Day Jonny Rain Cloud.  No cake, No ice cream.

Well I feel much better after venting that.  Hopefully all you readers (I'm not delusional, I'm pretty sure there is only a handful) aren't bummed by my depressed post.  I find it odd though that by mearly writing about it, where anyone could be reading, that I feel much  better having gotten it off my chest. I spoke to Laura about it yesterday but when I saw Rexburg on Google Earth it all came flooding back to me.  From the very first winter there I was so ready to be leaving the middle of no-where.  Four and a half years went by so quickly and now I wish I could be there once more, just a little longer.  Of course there must come a time when we must stop the wishing or risk wishing our life away.  Lesson learned: Enjoy the time you have today (why didn't I buy into that one earlier?).

Reclaiming a piece of my childhood

So I know I am a nerd.  Really I have come to accept it.  I am not an uber nerd though.  Not the kind of taped glasses, suspenders, slouching, braces, buck toothed, and pimply faced nerd.  I get excited about cool little gizmos and the like.  Video games and electronics are to me like craft stuff is to Laura.  She of course would argue that her diversion is more worthwhile because it involves creating things or preserving things, such as memories, where mine is mostly useless.  Fortunately it is not a sore point in our marriage.  While I may not be creating anything I am enjoying the art form of another.

It takes a great amount of skill to create a video game (well that is) or a nifty electronic gadget.  Take the I-pod for example.  While I don't like Apple brand products because of the way it takes over my computer and I can't tinker with it, the i-pod has a certain aesthetically pleasing look to it.  Smooth lines, user friendly interface, variety of shapes and sizes.  Looking only at the music play back feature it doesn't play your music any better than any other name brand mp3 player.  There is not something magical about it that makes crappy music sound better.  The I-pod is more expensive than most mp3 players of equal capacity yet I tend to see more i-pods than I do any other player.  You can find other players that do almost everything the i-pod can for half the price but most of them look like bricks.  Though having a brick that plays music would kind of be cool it just wouldn't sell in my opinion.

I see video games, that are well made, in a similar fashion. They are an interactive art form.  It takes time and dedication to make a video game well.  Someone needs to create the story, a group of people have to create the scenery, others have to get actors for the characters, a director to get everything pointed in the right direction, so on and so forth.  The point is someone had to take and abstract thought and translate it into a form the users could enjoy and understand while including all the necessary forms of a well defined plot.  Of course some focus more on graphics than on the plot making the game only a once through worthwhile game. So while I may not be the creator of such art, though I am working on story building, I find it no different from appreciating a good film or even a good painting.  Don't get me wrong moderation is important but I don't find it any less worth while than revisiting your favorite painting or sculpture at a museum.

So the other day when I logged onto the Wii shopping channel to see what aspects of my childhood they resurrected I found a game that brought back a lot of memories.  It was a remake for the Wii of an old NES game.  It actually is more of a sequel than a remake.  The game looks and feels like the NES game except with updated graphics and music quality.  The music is actually the same and some of the areas are quite similar to the others in the NES version.  I remember when I was first introduced to Blaster Master on the NES.  We had gone to visit my grandparents down in Oregon.  This time we were staying with my Mom's mom.  Sometimes the adults would go do fun things and leave us kids in the hands of a baby sitter.  So my parents let me rent a game so I could have something to do and keep out of the sitter's hair.  It was this game.  So I had to get it when I saw the sequel.  It isn't often we get to recapture something from our past.

So while my lovely wife is probably balking at the post, as are perhaps most of the other female readers, I really am a normal person.  I have descent social skills and I don't smell too bad.  I mean you only need to shower once a week to be socially acceptable, right?

The mis-fortunate affair of the power blender

So yesterday my wife and had to deal with the death, or perhaps severe injury only exploratory surgery will tell, of a blender.  I'm sure most of you have seen the bullet power blender or such.  We had one from JcPennys.  I got it as a gift.  I think it was a terribly useful thing.  Instead of making a smoothy in a blender and then using a cup just blend it in the cup.  Also, if you can believe what is on the cup, you could grind anything.  It spoke of grinding coffee beans.  I don't know if it would do that or not, I don't drink coffee, but it dies trying to chop an onion.  Onions are not as hard as coffee beans.  I think it made a total of six fruit smoothies then tried to attempt to chop the onion before being severely injured.

It was loud every time we used it and smelled of hot plastic.  When we first opened it the small cup had shattered.  From what I can tell the motor was loose in the case so when ever we used it the metal shaft spun so fast it melted the plastic.  I think yesterday it was enough and the interface plate (you know the bit that has teeth that attaches to the blade, what is that called? a gear?) started eating into the plastic.  I think the wound may have been fatal.  I'll tear the thing apart tonight but the prognosis is not good.

So I've noticed a really bad habit drivers have around here.  I know it happens else where as well but it happens a lot around here.  The traffic lights are kind of screwy.  You'll get on green and half a block ahead is a red. Instead of waiting at behind the line when it is green the entire intersection gets filled.  Sometimes it works out but during rush hour it is a no go.  Eventually the green turns to red and the other direction gets a green but no one can go because of the numpties in the middle of the intersection.  The kicker is that almost everyone does it.  I thought it was funny when I heard someone honking there hour at the people in the middle of the intersection like that was going to do anything.  I do have a way to solve the problem, in fact it will solve another problem as well.  At every intersection a giant trap door should be installed.  When the lights turn red the trap door opens taking in all the intersection cloggers.  On top of that the people trying to run the red would also get sucked in.  I do realize that cars may be ruined, and injuries may ensue but eventually people will learn their lesson.