Surviving without the other half guide: Day 1

My other half has flown to the lovely isle of Britain, specifically the Scottish portion of it.  For the next 49 days I am alone at home.  I have school fortunately but it is a small consolation for the gaping hole in my life this trip has put in it.  Part of the problem is Laura is my motivator.  I don't really feel motivated.  Fortunately or unfortunately the rest of my class is feeling unmotivated right now as well.

How did I get in this sticky mess with my other half, half way across the world?  Well it started out with some pain, followed by a hefty does of praying, prayers particularly on what we should do.  We had a choice to make and after much praying Scotland felt right, for many reasons.  Normally I would worry about biasing the answer because when you get an answer to prayer and it is something you want you have to pause a moment.  Being separated from my lovely wife is not something I wanted what so ever.  Nor did she want it.  If I had asked her yesterday not to go to Scotland she would have stayed.  I think there was a part of her that wanted me to ask her to stay.  I know that if I had asked her after she had checked into the flight she also would have stayed.  I couldn't of course, we both knew she needed to go.

So her I am trying to keep things together.  When I first got home today I started walking in circles, I didn't know what to do with myself.  Within forty-five minutes of being home I started talking to myself.  So far life on my own has been off to a rough start.  I think I have myself under control for a while.  I figure if I can focus on something, anything really, I'll be able to get through this rough sea of alone.  I wish I could focus on my finals I have coming up but sadly I just can't right now.  Sad really that I can't use my needed focus on school.

I learned something new about my wife today.  I thought she was a really quite person.  Truth be told she is more quiet than most.  I didn't realize how wrong I was to think she was as quiet as a mouse though.  That is one of the more unsettling things really.  The house is too big for the two of us, we don't even have that much stuff really to fill the house.  Now it is way too big.  I almost lost it when I saw all the sticky notes my wife left for me, particularly when I went to the bedroom and saw the one stuck to my pillow.  That one said "I love you" the rest she drew hearts.

I need to go make myself some food.  I think today is going to be the hardest of the forty-nine as it is the one furthest from her return to me.  From here on out each day is a step closer to my reunion with my best friend. The media would have me believe that I should be craving this alone time.  They really are wrong.  And they can stick it in their ear.  I don't care which one.  Until that day when Laura gets home to me I figure this blog will be my survival guide.  Kind of like survivor man or man vs wild only I have to last for seven weeks instead of just under one.

On a side note my heart goes out to the married armed service people who go out for long tours (is that what they call them?).  This sucks and you are putting you lives on the line to boot.  Thanks for your many sacrifices.

Lets see if I can manage cooking food without burning down the house...