Survivor's guide: day 23

Nothing really exciting today.

I got to chat with Laura.  We played some solitaire showdown on MSN too.  It was fun.  I had a nice relaxing day off from school.  I cleaned the oven and did some other things house maintenance related.  I told Laura about it and she said I made a good housewife.  Keeping the house clean makes it feel like Laura is here.  I like that.

The big thing for today is that We have hit pretty close to half way now.  Yeah for the down hill of things.  I look forward to this weekend when I can chat with Laura some more.

Well I'm away to eat dinner and such.

23 days down, 26 to go

Survivor's guide: day 22

Today has gone by quick.  I'm thankful for that.

I have noticed as time goes on without my wife I am beginning to normalize some.  At least enough that I am functioning.  I don't wander around in circles as much any more.  There are those days but fortunately they aren't as often.  Of course looking back it has only really been twenty-two days that have passed and I am talking like it has been months.  Maybe I'm not doing as well as I thought.  It is really hard to tell when days seem like months, and weeks years.

So I snagged this picture of Laura from when we were chatting a bit ago.  I really miss those eyes.  I miss all of her but I fell in love with those eyes.  Laura is probably turning all red from reading this but that is alright, it is my job to embarrass her with sweet and nice things.  When we were first dating we were in separate countries (so we have had experience with the long distance thing before now) and I wrote an email to the local radio station requesting a song.  I believe it was "I Swear", I think Laura had said she had never heard the song before.  It also was around some holiday or something, maybe I was doing it just because.  I don't recall that part but I do know that it played twice.  I guess two DJ's got my email (I think I still have that somewheres stored away for safe keeping). I listened to the radio station online and only caught the second request.  The DJ read my entire email out, I had only intended for the DJ to read a small portion, the rest I had thrown in to gain the sympathy of the DJ and play the song.  Anyways I was chatting with Laura as she heard it.  She got good and embarrassed.  I think she was quite chuffed about it too though.  I'm pretty good at embarrassing her when I shouldn't though too.  I'm working on it.  Don't worry Laura I won't write your local DJ's again.  Maybe next time :P

I made sloppy joes again for dinner and they still didn't turn out as tasty as when Laura is here.  I could understand it if Laura was the one making the darn things for me but I'm the one cooking them for me regardless.  Occasionally Laura will make them for me and they taste better when she makes them, but why can't I be consistent?  I'm beginning to think Laura spits in them or something when my back is turned.

Well its getting late and I have things to do, like get to project number four.  Which I have decided I may as well have a project per week until Laura gets home.  It'll be fun for her.

22 days down, 27 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 21

I love leftovers.  What a great way to get a meal up and going quickly.

Today was the first day of classes.  These days go slower than when I was on break.  Fortunately I have Wednesday off.  I hope I have the chance to chat with Laura.

Laura was going to have a photo shoot this week but she got snowed out.  I guess I'm glad I'm not in Scotland for the snow.  Then again to have my wife with me I would take the snow.

I'm glad to be back in school, even if I felt the break went by too quickly.  Had a really good lecture this morning that got me revved up again.

It wasn't a very busy day today and I have a poem to write and sleep to catch.  Maybe something more exciting will happen tomorrow.

21 days down, 28 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 20

So Sunday dinners with Laura and I are kind of fancy.  We try and make them a little nicer compared to the rest of the week.  It was something her mum did so we just picked it up.  Last week I didn't have to worry about it cause I was in Seattle and the week before I think I failed at that.  French toast pizza does not count as fancy.  Today though I did much better.  And found another heart sticky note Laura left behind.  I had risotto for the first time, and it is pretty tasty.  Granted it was out of a box but I think it is something I will try and make on my own.  I also had Jamaican Chicken stuff (it was from a bag, precooked) with mashed potatoes (I know it doesn't really go with rice) and corn.  My plate was colorful.

I finished up my 3rd project for Laura.  I have another one already lined up.  Laura is going to have so much stuff she won't know what to do with it.  I don't know if she'll have a place to keep it all.

So I think the sticky note I found has to be one of the last ones, it was on the risotto box.  I haven't thrown any of them away.  I try and keep them where I find them.  In this case though I had to move the note, I stuck it in a journal I've been writing poetry for Laura in.  I figure that was an appropriate place to put it.

Laura starts her 3rd block of school tomorrow.  It has math, which she loathes, but I know she will do just fine.

The end of my break is here and I'm sad to see it come.  I really enjoyed being able to talk to Laura for most of my day.  At least I can text her, thank you gmail.

Well I'm away to get some sleep.

20 days down 29 to go.  Almost half way.

Survivor's guide: day 19

Today's dinner went better than yesterdays.  Ravioli salad.  As far as I know it is something Laura came up with.  Really tasty.  I never have had it, or heard of it till Laura served it to me.

Today Laura took her final.  She thought she had two but only had the one.  It was kind of funny.  I was on webcam with her the entire time.  She is not a stress free test taker.  I felt bad for her.  I just wanted to take her test for her.  She cute when she gets all wound up though.

My week of vacation is over.  I'm surprised at how fast it went by.  I'm glad to be getting  back to school though.  Me getting back to school means Laura is almost home. That is a good thing.  I'm looking forward to it.

I started another Project for Laura today.  I wanted to tell her all about it, she'll like it a lot.

Today was a fairly empty day.  Nothing big going on. The most exciting thing, aside from my chat with my wife, was the cover to the exhaust fan over the stove fell off.  That was a big crash.

Well I'm away to write my wife.

19 down, 30 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 18

So yesterday I posted about my dear wife and her grimace of agony.  She's feeling much much better.  I can't wait for her to get all the Doc visits done with so we know what it is that is hurting her so.

I really can hardly wait to have my wife back again.  I miss her a lot.  I noticed that one of the big things she does for me is dinner, or any other meal, prep.  See I have a hard time deciding what I want when I am hungry, especially if I have to figure it out by simply looking at the ingredients.  It has always been a wonder to me how people can take apparently random things and make something fantastic. Have you ever considered what goes into making your favorite dish?  One of mine is Chicken Tikka Masala.  I am a HUGE fan of indian curries.  I am also partial to some thai curries as well.  There is not a bush out there the grows curry spice.  It is a mixture of spices.  Then you have to consider the base for the sauce and all it's flavors.  The chicken was the easy part of that recipe.  Laura is great at making meals.  Usually I'll ask what is for dinner.  Her response is to ask me what I would like.  I usually say one of two things (yes Laura you know what is coming next) "I dunno I'm just hungry" or "Food".  Not very helpful to Laura at all.  Yet she makes a fantastic meal every single time and it is always what I wanted.

Tonight I paced around the house trying to figure out what I wanted to eat.  I finally just made some refried bean wraps.  I did know what I wanted for dessert though.  I stopped by the produce stand the other day.  I told Laura about picking up some fresh strawberries, which she told me would go well with the Passion Fruit ice cream we had.  I took it a bit further and made a fruit salad topped with a bit of the ice cream.  It was fantastic.  Laura was right about the passion fruit ice cream going well with the strawberries, it also went well with the kiwi, orange, and banana.

Today I checked to see how much longer I was going to be living the single life (totally sucks by the way, I made the best decision ever getting married young) and was thoroughly disappointed to see that only two and a half weeks had actually gone by.  So while on my school break the days seem to be vanishing quickly, they aren't vanishing fast enough to get Laura back to me sooner.

I need another project. that will speed things up.

18 days down, too many to go (31).

Survivor's guide: day 17

So today was a hard day.  I think more so on my wife.

She was finishing up a paper for school.  I didn't get to chat with her much which is fine, she needed to get that school work done.  I read over her paper to help her out.  It was as after Laura told me she was heading up stairs to video chat with me things did not go well.  She placed the video call and then I saw her walking around a bit then I was left to watch an empty room for about fifteen minutes.  When Laura finally came back she looked miserable and in terrible pain.  She left again for a long while, then my mother-in-law came on told me Laura was away to take a bath and that she was going to be okay.  My mother-in-law said she'd make sure Laura would call a doc and visit.  When Laura came back we were able to say goodnight and that was it.  She told me not to worry, of course we both were worried.  Though we both pretended not to be.

So Laura goes to bed, worried about me worrying and about herself, and I am left to wonder how my wife is.  I really wish I was there to help her.  Wish I could give her a nice big boasie to make her feel better.

To help me not worry I've been cleaning what ever I can.  I wrote her a nice e-mail too.  Laura get better, that is an order.  I think it is the first one I have ever given you.  FYI this is what hell is.

17 days down, 32 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 16

I was thinking my days without school and without Laura were going to be long and hard.  Surprisingly these days seem to be going faster than when school is in.  Who would have thought that being at school then coming home would make the alone time seem longer?  Not that my days don't go by quick while I am in school I just thought that while on my own things would be longer.

I love my wife so much.  We had a good chat today.  She made a few videos about her day.  Today she had blood drawn for testing and sometime later she'll be going to have an ultrasound done.  We are hoping it is something they can take care of quickly.  We really want her to get better.  She deserves it.

I did some shopping for myself.  When I filled the basket I noticed it was mostly boxed foods.  I did stop by the vegetable stand though and picked up some good stuff.  Fresh berries and such.

I miss my parents elliptical machine already.  I did some exercise video today and I'm sore.  Mostly at the joints. I need to stretch.

Well I'm off to write my wife.  Then to bed.

16 down 33 to go.  Praying Laura doesn't have to extend her visit.

Survivor's guide: day 15

These past few weeks really have gone by fast.

I made it back to CA safely.  I didn't even get lost on the public transit.  Or dismembered, shot, seriously injured or some other form of injury that would ruin your day.  I was worried that when I got back home that I would suffer from the same shell shocked experience I did the first night Laura was gone.  Fortunately I was able to chat with her so all is good.

After all this travel I'm finding I don't need Laura as a travel guide.  I'm sure she'll enjoy that news because now she can just be my travel buddy.  Things should be more relaxed for her.

So I got mostly Laundry done today and didn't do much with the rest of the house.  I need to clean the bedroom after my packing.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring.  I don't have a lot to do and I enjoy being able to have something to focus on to get me through the long days.

I may not need my wife to get me situated if public transportation, but it certainly is hard to give myself hugs and kisses and impossible to snuggle up at night.  I need her for much more important things.  Like boasies.

I get one from her in 34 days

Survivor's guide: day 14

The days just seem to pass too quickly.  In a week I start school again.  Tomorrow morning I fly back to California.  It will be nice to get back home.  I always need a break from my vacations.

Tomorrow will be interesting as i will be riding public transit on my very own for the first time.  Usually my better half takes care of that.  I've only ever really been on public transit in the UK with my lovely better half.  I just hope I don't get lost.

I had a fun time here in Seattle.  I will miss it that is for sure but there is something about going home that is exciting.  Of course the home will be empty and cold.  Supposedly I have a package or two that will be waiting for me when i get home.  That make it worth while I suppose.  I really wish I were in the UK.  But running away from things doesn't make them go away.  All you are left with is something to chase you.

I'm not excited about changes being made here in the states.  Really it is unconstitutional to force people to "buy" something even if it is for there own good.  It is like telling me what religion I have to believe or worship, or forcing me to exercise.  I wish Laura were here.  I could hug her and things would be much better, even if things are crap.

I miss Laura.  I am still looking for another project to do for my wife.  I hope I can find something before I run out of stuff with my current projects.  Cryptic I know but Laura reads this blog (more regularly than I do) and I can't have her figuring out what it is I am doing.  Of course knowing my wife like I do she is just pretending that she doesn't know when really she does.

Well it is off to bed for me.  Oddly enough I am looking forward to getting home to clean up a bit.

Survivor's guide: day 13

Today was the last day of communication isolation between my wife and I thank goodness.  We were only able to pretty much say hello and goodnight but it was a much needed and much appreciated.

Church was interesting today being back in my home ward with people I grew up with and church leaders.  Especially when my better half is not with me.  It was better than I thought it would be.  I was worried about it being awkward and it wasn't too bad at all.  Usually Laura's back keeps us from staying the whole time, pews were not ergonomically made or made with back injuries in mind.  Today I made it through all 3 hours.  First time in a long time.  Also I am on track with my scripture reading.  I have made it through Deuteronomy and am into The book of Joshua.

My wife was in Irvine this weekend where she spent a good portion of her youth.  I really look forward to her showing me her old haunts someday.

Today I was able to spend time with some dear friends of mine.  I have been friends with him for as long as I can remember and he and his wife have a great couple of kids with a third on the way.  They are just like family and I love spending time with them.  We used to live close to one another where we went to college in Idaho.  We spent quite a bit of time together.  They practically lived with us for about a week or so while they settled in.  It was good to reconnect with them again.

Good friends definitely help easy missing of my best friend.  13 days down 36 more to go.

Survivor's guide: day 12

Today was an easy day.  After yesterday's hike my legs needed it.  The calves were still burning.  I've attached some pictures of the falls.  I love the hike and I like getting out doors for fresh air and exercise.  My dad was up for another hike today but instead we played settlers of catan.  I love that game.  Laura and I found a site online where you can play it for free.  We used to play it almost every sunday.  We haven't done that in a while.  I hope we start that mini tradition up again while she is away.

Dad and I played a few games of golf on the wii.  We both play as Tiger, of course, seeing as that is how about our skill level out on the real grass.  Golf really is fun, when you are playing it, the strategy involved and such is a blast.  My dad and I are pretty evenly matched too.  We usually don't win/lose to the other by too many points.

Today I was going to write Laura a bit of a poem.  I wanted it to have a different tone from the others I have written her lately.  I was thinking of her and I wanted to see a picture of her and realized I don't really have any pictures of my own of my wife.  It is something that will needed to be rectified.  Hopefully Laura will send some to me soon.  I looked at some of her pictures on facebook but I still want to have more in my wallet.  I don't know why we haven't gotten around to do that.  I have more pictures of my lovely wife on the computer at home just none with me.

So far this weekend has been harder than the few days prior to my trip.  I haven't had the chance to chat with Laura at all.  She has been away from a computer.  Tomorrow though I think I may get a chance to talk with her some.  I'm hoping that will be the case.

It has been a nice relaxing day.  I'm amazed that almost 2 weeks have passed.  12 days down 37 to go.  Little over a month to go.

As promised some pictures from the hike.

Survivor's guide: day 11

Today was filled with a  hike.  I went with my dad up to Wallace falls.  It is a nice hike, long and up.  Lots of up. It took us a good three hours to get up and down.

I have found exercise is great for passing the time while the other half is gone.  It kills time, gives me time to think about things, and the endorphins running around my body make me feel better.  A side benefit is by the time Laura gets back hopefully I will have lost the slight keg I was putting on.  I'm not trying for a six pack but the belly flab can go.

Meals were made super easy today with all the left overs from yesterday.  Having gone out twice gives plenty of food.

I'm looking again for another thing I can work on for Laura while she is gone.  I already have two I am working on, small but big things, and I'm sure I'll eventually need the third one.  I've run out of names for the projects so.  I may come up with one when i am less sleepy.

I missed having my wife to chat with.  I didn't get to say hello or anything.  I won't until she gets back to Montrose Sunday evening.  We use gmail to chat, mostly texts to my cell phone.  Nothing of the sort today as she is not near a computer.  I miss my friend.

One thing I try to do every day that helps me get through is writing Laura and email.  It give me a chance to share my thoughts and feeling with her and that surprisingly takes care of most of the separation ache.  Well I'm off to write that email I mentioned.  Laura will be expecting one after she reads this post.

Survivor's guide: day 10

It has been a lovely day here in the Seattle area.  My time here is going to end up passing quickly I think.

My wife had a doctors appointment today.  There was some poking and prodding and she'll go back for some more tests later.

She's going to Irvine this weekend with here parents.  which means I won't have her to chat with at all until possibly Sunday.  It is going to be hard.  I have been able to say hello to Laura at least every day since she left.  I don't know how I'll cope without some communication with her.  Communicating, even a gmail txt, has been my lifeline.

Today I went out with family and ended up at Target.  It is one of Laura's favorite stores.  I wanted to get her something but I don't know what I would have gotten her.  Besides I'm not sure I'd have enough room in the small bag I packed to get.

Today has been a good lazy day without any pressure of doing this or that.  I have enjoyed it.

Ten days have passed since I have been without my other half.  That is one fifth of this time that is now over.  I can hardly wait for the day when Laura and I will be in the airport hugging and enjoying one another's company again.  We are going to do the best we can to make sure we don't have to be separated this long ever again.

I have found exercise to be a great means of countering the gaping whole in my life.  It keeps me from eating too much.  I love food and take comfort in it.  Don't worry Laura I won't become a blob before you get home.  In fact I hope to trim up some.

Well it is getting late and I need some sleep.  The key to not getting teary eyed is to avoid doing those things you normally do with the other half.  For me that is eating at places like Burger King where we'd share some fries.

Survivor's guide: day 9

Finished my finals and now I have to face all the free time I will have.  Fortunately I am with my family for a few days.  Hopefully I get the chance to hang out with some old friends up here.

As I flew home there was an empty seat between myself and a fellow passenger.  Reminded me of who should have had that seat.  Another first.  not one that I really want to have but a first all the same flying without my other half for the first time in 6 years.  It was a nice quick flight.  In fact it was one Laura made last week.  During the first leg anyways she flew up to Seattle and from there out of country.

I saw a lot of families.  Young ones too.  Never seems to be an end of reminders of what you don't have with you.

It was crazy the chaos of southwest's boarding procedures.  You wouldn't think get on find a seat and sit would be so difficult but it is.  That and people bringing carry on luggage that is really too big.  By about half a foot, then they complain there is no room in the over head bins.

I;m glad to be in Seattle that is for sure.  Nothing like having family near by.

Survivor's guide: day 8

I can hardly believe that a week has past.  Every day seem to go on forever yet when I look back time has already passed.  This round of finals is coming to an end thank goodness.  A week break and then back to the grindstone again.

I think Laura would be impressed with how tidy I am keeping the house.  It isn't as clean as she likes it but it hasn't been getting any dirtier.  And no it is not because I have totally trashed the place so it can't get any dirtier. I just have lots of school stuff out that I need to tidy up.  That should restore the house to its normally pristine nature.

It is funny how the small things creep up on you and catch you off guard.  For instance Laura loves watching the show "Friends".  She watched it growing up and so it is something I have picked up.  In fact it made her day how fast I caught on to all the characters in the show.  We have it DVR so we can record and watch them together.  I was going to watch one, while I ate dinner causes I don't have my usual talking companion, and I couldn't.  I could not watch it without Laura.  It felt wrong.  It felt awkward watching it with out Laura.

Same thing goes with some ice cream we bought before she took off.  I find it very hard to even think about eating it without getting emotional.  I'm usually sharing with Laura.  It is the one time she lets me feed her.  Tried doing that with dinner and she takes the fork from my hand and feeds herself.  She is very independent but I love her.  It actually bothers her when I try doing that, something I found out ages ago.  I guess it is not as terribly romantic as the movies would have you think, go figure.

I was just thinking how quiet Laura is.  She doesn't say much, too busy thinking about stuff, and it has been interesting to see how that translates over the distance.  I forgot what it was like when we first met online.  She does talk more over the web cam now though compared to then.  So if you think she is quiet with you don't worry she is that way with almost everyone.  There are only a few she will open up to.

She would have been happy today with me getting home so early.  She loves that.  I wonder if the next week will be as fast paced as this on was.  What to do with so much free time...

Survivor's guide: day 7

I am burned out on the finals thing.  I don't think I study any more.  My brain is full and my better half is not here to soothe my aching head.

I need a vacation for sure.  I keeping thinking of things I would like to do with Laura, only to remember she is not here.  Odd how one can simply forget something like that.  I'm so used to having her near by, within a whisper distance most of the time.

Spring break will be here soon enough for that I am grateful.  I need it.

I think project appreciate is complete. I've run out of stuff for it.  I keep scouring the back of my mind for something more but I have run dry it seems.  I need a new project.  I have something cooking in the back of my mind.

Staying focused has become a problem for me.  I'm a bit tired of school.  I have been going at it for seven years now straight.  That of course is not counting my time in elementary school and such.  I need a long break, which sadly I cannot take just now.  I look forward to a long break though.

So Christmas time last year my wife and I went back to Scotland.  While we were there some practical jokesters decided it would be funny to plant flower bulbs in some friends lawn.  It happens to be in a heart shape .  Today my wife went up to see the flowers, I guess they are annuals.  At least I assume she went to go see them as she said she was going up to Edzel to see the flowers.  That is what came to mind anyway.

So last night as I was trying to get to sleep I realized I was having some troubles falling asleep.  Being Sunday I typically reserve that day for not watching TV.  As I lay there I realized why I was having troubles getting to sleep.  I normally have a good chat with Laura as we lie in bed and she wasn't there.  I didn't realize I would have this problem cause the past couple of nights I feel asleep while watching the TV.  Odd how it happens.  Really when you think about it I spent 20 years going to sleep without chatting to anyone before hand.  Six years of marriage later and that is completely different.  I;d have thought it no big deal going back to the chatter-less nights. Guess I was wrong.

Next time Laura if you are going to leave me again you need to leave a recording I can fall asleep to okay?

Survivor's guide: day 6

This is the first time I have had to go through finals without my wife.  Oddly I feel no more or less stress about them with her gone.  I would love to have her here so I could celebrate with her about my scores but what can you do really?

Tonight dinner was out of a box again.  I need to find the recipes Laura left me.They should be tasty, the only worry I have is over eating.

Church was odd today.  Normally there is this older gentleman that will shake our hands and comment how happy we always look.  I sneaked past him today.  I didn't want people asking where Laura was.  Answering that question would have been an addition to the constant reminder that my wife is not wife me but rather elsewhere.

I was invited to go study with my class mates today.  I was sorely tempted.  I tend to study on my own cause I have a different style of studying that works for me.  I can work with others but I think if I had gone today I wouldn't have left until the hostess kicked me out for distracting everyone from there studies.  Would you want to return to an empty house?

Webcam makes this much easier though.  I don't know what I would do without it.  Laura and I get to video chat almost every day.  Lately she has been coming on as she is getting ready to pass out from a long day.  She looks really cute tired too.

A great way to pass time when I am thinking of Laura I have found is writing poems for her.  Nothing fancy, and probably only liked by her but it works.  I simply write out exactly what it is I am missing at that moment, like holding her hand and watching a movie, word for word.  Then I try translating it into something else entirely.  It's been fun.  Hopefully I get better at it by the time she gets back to me.

One weekend down 6 more to go.  I can hardly wait for this to be done with.  You'd better come back healthy my better half or we'll have words.  No more getting sick and leaving me alone.  I forbid it.  Please?

Survivor's guide: day 5

This day has been a long one.  I haven't left my house.  There was no need.

I've been preparing for finals all day.  I make power points to study from.  Works better than flash cards for me. I have most of my classes all worked out.  I just have to go over the slides.  Staying focused on my work makes it easier for me to be without the better part of me.

Video chatting also helps.  At least I get to see her.

Today I cleaned house.  First time I have had to do that all on my own.  Most of the time I just clean a few things.  Laura does most of it.  I try and get her to let me help but she likes doing it leaving me with the dishes (sometimes) and garbage duty.  I love her so much.  She reminds me every week about garbage even though I know I have to take it out.  I love her for that.  Not a nagging way at all but a simple reminder.  How can I forget the one chore I have?  I do it so Laura doesn't have to.  She hates the dishes and garbage most.  So I get to show her my love when I do that.  At least I hope she knows that.

Well it is late and I need to finish the last few slides of my study guide.  I think I need to come up with another project while my wife is away as I've nearly finished my other project.

5 days down 44 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 4

I can hardly believe it has only been 4 days since my wife and I have been apart.  I miss her dearly and she misses me.

I'm running out of stuff for project appreciation.  I didn't realize I would get through it that fast.  I guess I have been missing her more than I realized.  Fortunately I have school to keep me busy and that it has been doing.
I have seven finals to take next week and I need to get loads of studying done.  Surprisingly though I don't feel overly worried about any of the finals.

I finished the leftovers from Laura's parting meal.  I love mandarin chicken from Panda Express.  The sloppy joes I made last night were good but didn't taste the same as when Laura is here.  I make them for myself mostly but for some reason when she is here they taste better.  I guess she must put something in it that I am not aware of.

I wonder how tomorrow will be.  Usually I wake up, hope on the computer three hours before Laura wakes up.  When she comes out of the bedroom I run down the hall and give her a great big boasie.  Tomorrow will be the first Saturday I won't be doing that.  Saturday is also the day I have set aside for clean up.

My wife was worried the house would be a mess as soon as she left but I think I have done an alright job.  I had her leave me a list of things to do.  I'm looking forward to it actually.

Well I need to get back to my studies.  Can't fail out while my wife is away.

Survivor's guide: day 3

This one is a short one as I have a quiz to study for.

Tonight is sloppy joes.  I love the way my wife makes it (with baked beans) and Laura hates beans so I figure why not.  I look forward to it.

Today was a bad day not to have a scottish wife for a boasie.  Today I may have accidentally, more likely than not, killed our adopted lizard thing we named Charlie.  I didn't mean to.  I didn't realize that I would be crushing him as I shut the door.  I thought he was far enough away that he would be fine.  Besides that is where he was when I opened the door.  I hadn't seen Charlie in days and was quite excited to see him this morning.  I won't be seeing him any more.  He adopted us really.  He would squeeze in between the door and the door frame.  This morning I found him just out side the door frame.  I guess he moved when I closed the door cause there was plenty of clear space for him not to get squished.  I don't think Laura will let me be alone with our children after this.  Sorry Laura.

I have noticed that being separated from Laura is easier when I can chat with her on webcam.  While I can't hug or kiss Laura in that state I at least can hear her accent coming back.  She is my best friend.  Anyways I need to eat and study for finals and such.

Survivor's guide: day 2

Today was easier than yesterday was.  I was much better prepared for the screaming silence that would greet me as I entered my home.  I have also been able to direct my focus.  In fact I believe I blew both of my tests out of the water that I took today.  I have two more tomorrow and I am less apathetic towards those.

Yesterday was hard not knowing what was going on with my wife, whether she was okay or not.  Who would protect her?  Her would make sure she didn't hurt her back?  I know I would probably only be good at preventing her from hurting her back and if it really came down to it Laura would be the one saving my skin and not the other way around.  I would only be good as fodder and Laura with her Scottish heritage... well I'm sure you have all seen Braveheart and we will leave it at that.

I got a text this morning close to 2am from my wife telling me she arrived safely at her parents home.  I was surprised how relieved I was to hear that news.  It was hard not being in contact with her for that many hours.  No text messages or anything for most of my day.  When she comes back here I think it will be easier because while she is flying I will be busy and I will pick her up straight after school.

I also started a little project, which I lovingly refer to as project appreciation.  Sparing the details of it (as this is for my wife upon her return) the project is simply a means of returning the sticky note favor.  I have found that when ever I get lonely or something of that nature, if I work on that project I can settle my nerves.  Fortunately I live in a safe area where the neighbors are watching out for one another so I don't have to worry about being alone in my home.

It is odd how quite I am without Laura here.  I don't talk with anyone after school, and I find myself wondering how it would be to forget how to speak.  I know that won't happen to me but I think of myself as stranded sometimes.  Fortunately I haven't done laps around the house like a zombie or started talking to myself again.  I was just out of it yesterday.  Much like a stunned animal that was just hit by a car but not badly injured.  Funny how the brain does that to us.

I think I need to change up my dinner routine tomorrow.  I had the same dinner tonight as I did last night.  It was good but I think I need some variety.  French-bread pizza is only good to be tasty for only so long, and I have forty-eight more days to go of feeding myself.

I dread this weekend. I fear it will be one of the harder tests.  My normal routine is to stay up late on Friday snuggling my better half.  Bit hard to do that with an ocean between us.  We used to laugh when we would sit on opposite sides of the couch after I asked to snuggle.  Much easier to snuggle with a couch between us rather than the ocean.

I have good friends and colleges who have been keeping an eye on me, even if it is just a virtual.  I'm quite a private person and I try not to go too much into detail with what is going on in my life.  I think that is why I find it so hard to maintain a blog.  It is, after all, the means of baring one's soul to the universe known as the web.  Odd as it seems to me to share my life, I think this blog may keep me from going too crazy.  Of course that depends on who you ask.

Surviving without the other half guide: Day 1

My other half has flown to the lovely isle of Britain, specifically the Scottish portion of it.  For the next 49 days I am alone at home.  I have school fortunately but it is a small consolation for the gaping hole in my life this trip has put in it.  Part of the problem is Laura is my motivator.  I don't really feel motivated.  Fortunately or unfortunately the rest of my class is feeling unmotivated right now as well.

How did I get in this sticky mess with my other half, half way across the world?  Well it started out with some pain, followed by a hefty does of praying, prayers particularly on what we should do.  We had a choice to make and after much praying Scotland felt right, for many reasons.  Normally I would worry about biasing the answer because when you get an answer to prayer and it is something you want you have to pause a moment.  Being separated from my lovely wife is not something I wanted what so ever.  Nor did she want it.  If I had asked her yesterday not to go to Scotland she would have stayed.  I think there was a part of her that wanted me to ask her to stay.  I know that if I had asked her after she had checked into the flight she also would have stayed.  I couldn't of course, we both knew she needed to go.

So her I am trying to keep things together.  When I first got home today I started walking in circles, I didn't know what to do with myself.  Within forty-five minutes of being home I started talking to myself.  So far life on my own has been off to a rough start.  I think I have myself under control for a while.  I figure if I can focus on something, anything really, I'll be able to get through this rough sea of alone.  I wish I could focus on my finals I have coming up but sadly I just can't right now.  Sad really that I can't use my needed focus on school.

I learned something new about my wife today.  I thought she was a really quite person.  Truth be told she is more quiet than most.  I didn't realize how wrong I was to think she was as quiet as a mouse though.  That is one of the more unsettling things really.  The house is too big for the two of us, we don't even have that much stuff really to fill the house.  Now it is way too big.  I almost lost it when I saw all the sticky notes my wife left for me, particularly when I went to the bedroom and saw the one stuck to my pillow.  That one said "I love you" the rest she drew hearts.

I need to go make myself some food.  I think today is going to be the hardest of the forty-nine as it is the one furthest from her return to me.  From here on out each day is a step closer to my reunion with my best friend. The media would have me believe that I should be craving this alone time.  They really are wrong.  And they can stick it in their ear.  I don't care which one.  Until that day when Laura gets home to me I figure this blog will be my survival guide.  Kind of like survivor man or man vs wild only I have to last for seven weeks instead of just under one.

On a side note my heart goes out to the married armed service people who go out for long tours (is that what they call them?).  This sucks and you are putting you lives on the line to boot.  Thanks for your many sacrifices.

Lets see if I can manage cooking food without burning down the house...

It's the Final Countdown

This weekend my wife and I celebrated our 6th year anniversary. It was great fun.  We saw Alice in Wonderland.  The movie was good.  It wasn't what I expected at all.  I thought it would be essentially Alice in wonderland, the animated film, made into live action.  I was pleasantly surprised to find it was not.  My wife and I are usually pretty good at figuring out the plot twist before they come.  My little sister as surprised I was able to figure out the final events at mount mordor in the lord of the ring films without having read the books.  I was sure I had figured out some of the twists in Alice, only to find out I was wrong.  I enjoy being stumped like that.  I don't know if Laura had it figured out or not but I know I was surprised.

In a little over a day now I will be alone for seven weeks.  Laura is flying back home to Scotland to attend to several different things.  I have never been alone, especially for that long.  I got married to my lovely wife before I went to college.  I have always had family with me.  This is going to be a new experience for sure.  Fortunately I will have school keeping me busy so I don't think I will notice too much my being all on my own.  Of course when I cook dinner for Laura and I, I usually make way too much for the two of us.  I don't think that will change when I cook for myself.  I think there may still be leftovers when Laura gets home.

A sad as it is being separated from my best friend I really am excited for Laura.  She is going to have so much fun.  When ever we have gone together she never catches up with any of her friends, afraid that I'll feel left out or something (Really sweet of her but she need not worry about me). So this time she will have time to catch up with her friends and she will get to see her family and attend a wedding.

On the flip side of things Laura may regret going away for so long as when she gets back she may find I got us a dog...