Survivor's guide: day 49

It is the final count down.  In two hours Laura's journey begins.  I can't even begin to describe how excited I am.  I'm frantically trying to get all the little house cleaning things down, put finishing touches on my projects for Laura, and school work.  Laura woke up at 3am, or at least she was trying to, to get to the airport with the 2 hour buffer they want for international travel.

I don't think I will be able to actually focus on my school work for the rest of the week.  Heck it may even be the rest of the term that I won't be able to properly focus on my school work.  I'm having troubles as it is.  I already have my route planned out to avoid traffic and I am toying with the idea of leaving class a little early as to prevent Laura from having to sit in the airport for an hour and a half.  My mind is racing as is my heart.  Goodness me.  It has been a very long time.

I got in touch with a friend of mine recently, she said the longest she had been apart from her husband was two weeks and that it was horrible.  I can imagine.  I figure it sucks just as much two weeks or two months.  Two weeks might even be harder cause the pain never dulls.  At least I had the time to shut out the ache, at least manage it.  I hope she never has to be away from her husband again.  I hope I never have to be away from Laura again.

So tomorrow I will reveal my big projects I did for Laura.  They were fun and some will carry over I am sure.  I need to get back to studying and clean up.  Nervous energy so lends itself better to physical work.

49 days down.  Survived it.

Survivor's guide: day 48

The separation is drawing towards its end.  Thank goodness for that.  Monday is the last day I will be without my wife.  Need I really say more about anything for this post?

Well if I do too bad cause I need to get homework done and  I really need not get myself into a frenzy.

48 days down, 1 to go!

Survivor's guide: day 47

I am so excited about being with my wife again I totally forgot to blog last night.

The final count down has come.  With each passing moment m mead spins faster and faster as if it going to spin right off.  My head is buzzing with excitement of finally getting to hold my wife.  I love her so much.  My heart is pounding and feels as if going to burst right out of my chest.  Just thinking of her gets me all wound up now.  I though that this would be easing up as time went on.  That it would be hardest at the beginning then I would adjust.  Completely different from what I expected.

I love my wife.  I am glad to have her in my life and I am so glad she will be back in my arms soon.

47 days down, 2 left.  It went by faster than I expected upon looking back.

Survivor's guide: day 45

So I knew today Laura and I may not get to chat much cause she had a busy day in Aberdeen with an old school friend.  I also knew she was going to have an early train to catch so I wasn't really expecting to chat with her much or have much communication with her at all.  I was pleasantly surprised to have an e-mail from her.  It just made my day.

On top of that she was able to hope on and say goodnight before she went to bed.  It was the end to the perfect communicative day for me anyway.

So my projects for Laura are about to come to an end.  I need to come up with one more really good one to have one project per week.  I just have to find something good that also doesn't interfere with school work.  It is definitely a challenge.  It is going to be so nice having my wife back again.

45 days down, 4 more to go.

Survivor's guide: day 44

So close now so very close.

I am more excited to see my wife again than I am for christmas, birthday, disneyland, or when she first came over.  I can hardly wait.  Short I know but I have had a long busy day, most of which I was able to spend time chatting with my dear wife.  I don't think I am going to let her be as soon as she get back.

44 days down, 5 more to go!

Survivor's guide: day 43

I finally finished the last cupcake Laura sent.  only took me forever to eat 3.

The volcano in iceland seems to have settled down a bit.  At least enough to let flights to continue on their merry way.  Thank goodness for that.  It is now, so near the end of this horrible journey, that I feel like I may crack.  The strain on me seems a bit much.  I don't know why now, with less than a week to go.  Perhaps it is because of the excitement and it is not coming nearly fast enough.  I wish I had time to take off with Laura for the rest of the week and not worry about school.  Sadly I can't.  That is the one thing I really miss about undergrad.  If I needed to (or really wanted to in a case like the one Laura and I will be facing in about a week) I could take time off and keep running with the work without being buried or forced to take classes over again.  No room for that now.  I am forced to keep running, even if I'm about to crash and burn.  No time is planned in to let people get sick and recover.  Of all the places you would think that sort of thing would be taken into consideration they would have done that at a health professional school.

Regardless I am going to enjoy my time with my wife all the more.  She is going to be sick of me.  I may be getting a bit clingy.

So with all the tests done we know a lot of things that aren't the cause of Laura's phantom pain.  The good thing about the list is that we have eliminated some scary pain causers.  Like cancer.  Laura and I both agree it is better to suffer from some mystery pain than to suffer pain from a terminal disease.  Pain you can live through or with (most of the time) death is a bit harder to survive.  Of course being of the faith Laura and I both are death is merely a separation for a time from loved ones here, a separation that is not permanent.  Fortunately the separation Laura and I are currently dealing with is drawing to the end.  Thank goodness.

43 days down, 6 left

Survivor's guide: day 42

Final count down!  Not much longer now and the volcano seems to be playing nice.

I had a nice weekend with my family.  I'll get ti see them again later in the summer when we meet up at my grandparents.  It is where they are right now.

I cleaned up the house.  Didn't get to do it as part of my usual weekend ritual which is fine cause family was here.

Tomorrow Laura goes in for another set of blood tests.  Apparently the last one didn't check for infection so that is what they are doing tomorrow.  Odd that didn't happen but what ever.  They'll inform Laura whether or not she has an infection or not.  Another test down any way.

Laura will be home next week.  I am so excited.  I feel more anxious and emotional than I did at the beginning.  I figure that is because she is going to get home soon and I know it.  Hard to wait when it is so close and it is m other half coming home.  This is more exciting than Christmas!  I can hardly contain myself.

42 days down, 7 to go!

Survivor's guide: day 41

So dinner was absolutely fabulous.  I'm tooting my own horn as I made it but really it was good.

Today ends the visit of my family.  We have been playing games and enjoying the weather.  I'm glad they stopped by but at the same time there departure is signifies the nearness of the end of my singleness.  Hooray for that.

The meal I made cost the same as if you were to buy it for two people and fed more than the 5 of us.  Very filling very yummy.  Bajio is where we used to get this.

Iceland's volcano seems to be settling.  I'm hoping it isn't getting ready for a big show.  Laura is worried about getting stranded in Amsterdam.  Rather she is getting prepared in case it happens, both of us feel as if there is nothing to worry about.

41 days down, 8 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 40

Looks like the volcano is settling enough to let Laura get home to me.  Hopefully it settles enough to be nice to the Icelanders.

Today was a day full of adventure and tasty food. WE went to the jelly belly factory where my family has not been to.  It was fun seeing their wide eyed amazement at the process.  It really is quite amazing when you consider the sheer volume of beans that are made.    They have a new flavor now, honey. Surprising really that they haven't made it until now.  It is really tasty.

We also went to Mt. Diablo park.  It is a huge park.  We drove up to the top.  When we saw the huge line we were hungry and didn't want to wait to get in, pay for a five minute look about, then leave.  So we made a U-turn. The ride up was quite nerve racking.  A sheer drop was on the side as we were coming up, my side.  I don't like heights much, I don't like it when it looks like we are going to roll off and tumble to our slow and painful death.

I made burgers for dinner tonight.  Tomorrow it will be sweet green chili chicken quesadillas.  Yum yum.

40 days down, 9 to go :D

Survivor's guide: day 39

Last legs that is for sure.  Thank goodness for that.  On the flip side I feel like I may be on my last legs as well :S

Fortunately my family is with me this weekend.  They have been all Disneyed out and are ready for my kind of fun, just relaxing.  I'm good with that.

I still need to try and get some Laura time in though.  I need to know she is okay.  I love my family but with Laura it is different.  It isn't terribly hard for me to go long periods with out seeing my family.  I chat with them occasionally and such but as most of us do we all grow up and leave the nest.  We become individuals from our family and establish ourselves where we can.   It is part of us really.  Yet without Laura this is just the pits.  I miss her.

Fortunately the missing is drawing to an end.  I'll be able to see her once more and we will both be happier and better spouses for it I think.  I know the lessons we have learned could have been done elsewhere and without having us be separated, which I would have preferred, but I am grateful to have learned them.

39 days down, 10 to go!

Survivor's guide: day 38

Steadily the days drop as the return of my wife grows ever nearer.  Of course there is is a twist in the story.A little country covered in ice (at least during the winter), known as Iceland, has a volcano going off. This is not great new for its inhabitants but it effects my wife because all flights have been cancelled in and out of the UK.  The volcanic ash contains silica which is no good for engines, particularly when the engine is in the air keeping people up in the air.

Tomorrow my family arrives.  I'm looking forward to that, though they do disturb my usual weekend webcam chat with Laura.

Early night for me, I have an early morning.  Also I have some studying to finish up.

38 days down, 11 more to go (if the volcano cooperates).

Survivor's guide: day 37

Not much longer now.  Thank goodness for that.

Another short post as I have to get some tidying up in before bed.  I have family coming this weekend.

Today was particularly special.  I was able to video chat with my wife today.  Not very often I have the chance to do that after school.  She had a doctor's appointment today and she'll go in again next week.  They are still trying to figure things out.  Really weird too.  She is having another blood test cause during the first one they only tested for one thing, and other such nonsense.  Really the number of tests being done should have only take a couple of weeks to get done.  I don't know why they are doing what they are doing.  Oh well.  Things will get sorted eventually.

Laura will be back soon and I am really glad to have her back.  I miss my better half.  She really is the other half of me.  She is a real blessing in my life.

37 day down, 12 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 36

I have only a few moments, I have to study for my micro exam.

Tomorrow Laura goes into the Dr's.  We are hoping the Doc has received laura's ultrasound results so we can figure out what the heck is bothering her.

Anyways it is only two weeks until I go pick my wife up.  Thanks goodness I will be out of this hell soon.  I love Laura so much can hardly wait.  I'm super excited.

At least this experience has taught Laura and I to appreciate the time we have together.  We do enjoy our time together but we will do so even more now.  At least something good has come of this long distance thing.  That and Laura has seen a Doc.

36 days down, 13 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 35

Final two weeks.  I am so glad this is separation will be over with. 

So as I will be having family up this weekend I decided I would cook a meal for them.  I really miss Bajio.  Really good place in my college town of Rexburg.  Who would have thought podunk Rexburg, ID would have such a good restaurant. Anyways I decided I would make sweet green chili chicken for my family.  I'll let them decide with they make it into a salad or quesadilla.  Of course I couldn't make it for them and have it be my first time, I mean what if the taste-a-like recipe actually tasted like shoe?  So I made the chili chutney and some sweet rice and had it with my tortellini salad.  It was fantastic.  You can take a look at the pictures if you don't believe me.  It was delicious.  

I am a little jealous that my family is so close and yet so far away being in Disneyland.  I'd rather be anywhere than at school.  I love school but I need a good break.  That week break was sad.  Of course if I got to be anywhere but here I would rather I was with Laura.

Well I need to clean up my mess from dinner.  I have studying I need to do as well for the exam I have next week so I can spend time with my family this weekend.

35 days down, 14 to go.  

Survivor's guide: day 34

Well only two more weekends without my wife.

I'm so ready to have her back with me.  It feel incomplete, as if a part of me has been ripped from me.  More than just a part of my body.  It is as if a part of my very being is missing.  I know it is cheesy but it is true.  I need my wife just like I need food or water.  I never thought I could let someone so deeply into my life.  What a wonder that is.

I had dinner with friends tonight.  It was tasty, tomato soup with cheese, avocado, green onion and cheese.  Really tasty.  Corn chips were also involved.

This Friday my sisters and parents will be with me for the weekend.  I am really looking forward to it.  At least I won't be spending the weekend alone.

Church was good today, it is almost every Sunday really.  Only gets ruined when I do something.  While I am a little behind on my scripture reading goal I think I am pretty close.  I'm midway through 1 Samuel.

Well I'm off.  I need sleep.

34 days down, 15 days to go!

Survivor's guide: day 33

I skipped yesterday I know but I got busy.

Today went by pretty quick.  I studied mostly and played some tiger golf on the wii.  It was a nice break.

I got a lot of cleaning done as well.  Laura will be glad to come home to only a small disaster instead of the one she was expecting.

Next weekend my family will be in town.  I got all the food I needed to make a dish we like from bajio.  Sweet green chili chicken, really good.  Laura found the recipe and it will be my first time making it so I am hoping it all works out well.  I'll post some picture of it when I make it.

I hung out with some friends today from church,  I'll be having dinner with them tomorrow too.  It will be nice seeing as it will be a meal that is not out of a box.  I don't know what it is but I am getting a little tired of mac and cheese so I am sure it will be better than that.  yum.

Not long now before I am reunited with my other half.

33 days down, 16 left.  Hoora!

Survivor's guide: day 31

Next week end my folks will be in town, the week aft they leave my wife comes home.  No offence family but I am way more excited about her return than your visit.

My wife had a busy day today.  I was worried I wouldn't be able to chat with her much, which always makes my days feel that much longer.  I dread not being able to chat with her.  Well as the day would have it it looked like I was not going to be saying much to Laura.  I think I was able to ask her how she was doing and barely got a response to that.  She finally got back to me at 3 our time.  I was only able to say good night to her but I found that was the most important part of my chatting with her.  I got to let her know how much I love her and wish her sweet dreams.  Just like when she is here with me.  I'm the last one she speaks to before sleeping.  Of course many days I am the only one she speaks to verbally :S.  Regardless it meant a lot to me.

Funny how some men would see this as a vacation.  I don't know how they could possibly see it as such.  Then again maybe the time is much shorter than two months.  Still I hate leaving to go to school without my wife.  I know I will see her when I get back but still I don't like it.  I miss her.  Those days are way better than these two months.  At least Laura will be proud of how well I have kept the house.

31 days down, 18 to go.

Survivor's guide: day 30

It is amazing that I'm almost through my second week of school already, means I have a test coming up soon.

My sisters graduate from BYU-Idaho this week.  They are going on a big trip with my parents.  They will stop by next weekend.  I am afraid I may not be as fun as they hope, but I will still enjoy having them around.

I am running out of dinner ideas for myself.  I really need my wife around.  I need a hug more than a new dinner menu.

I finished yet another project for Laura.  I've done four.  The videos I sent to Laura was one of them.  I needed to give her something so those vids were easy to send through e-mail.

I've been exercising yet I don't have anyway to track what is going on.  I hope I'm doing something.  I'd hate to put all this effort in and get no return.

Long day ahead of me.  I'm off to bed.

30 days down, 19 to go.  : D

Survivor's guide: day 29

Three weeks until I will be picking up my wife and snuggling her again.  Thank goodness for that.

Today my wife had her ultrasound.  They were checking her ovaries to make sure they were okay.  They are happy.  So with both tests down we now know that Her body isn't trying to eat itself alive.  This is a good thing. The bummer thing about it is Laura still as a bit of pain that we don't know the cause of.  It is, as far as I understand, the normal level of pain she has been putting up with.  No new spike of pain since that night so long ago.  I just want her, as does she, free of pain.  At least it looks like she won't have to be staying in the UK longer than what we had planned.

I loved the dinner I had tonight.  Laura hates it so I figures it would be a good idea.  I had my own version of chili mac.  I use bake beans instead of chili.  I like the beans and the flavor.  Laura doesn't really like beans so there we go.  One of the reason she doesn't like her own sloppy joes that I love so much.

So it is obvious, and expected, that I miss my wife.  Today we were able to chat more than yesterday so that was nice.  Still it is hard being with out her.  The house is empty and stale without her presence to brighten it.  I miss her smell.  I sprayed a bit of her perfume on my pillow last night to help me sleep.  It is a smell she wears quite regularly.  Sadly it has faded from her pillow.  It actually eased some of the missing if only a little.

I am quiet excited about the end of Laura's tip drawing near.

29 days down, 20 days to go

Survivor's guide: day 28

Second week of school.  Why does it seem like it has been so much longer.

Today has been terribly long.  I don't know why.  I was looking back at the past four weeks and it seems like they have gone by really quick, but then the days go really slow it seems.  I also find myself writing to Laura as if years have passed by instead of weeks.

Wrote Laura a poem and an email.  she likes getting those.

Sadly today I didn't get to chat much with my wife.  I think that makes days feel longer too.  Her day was super full.  It is important that she spend time with the family she has there.  Still makes my days go by longer.

Tomorrow is Laura's ultrasound to see if they can figure out the cause of her pain.  I'm hoping for a quick fix.

Lately I have been finding myself waking up snuggling the blanket as if it was Laura.  I really need a hug.  Fortunately her trip is on the down hill side of things.

Three weeks left.  Thank goodness.

28 days down, 21 to go

Survivor's guide: day 27

Happy Easter.  Today was the last day of general conference.  I always like general conference.  Didn't used to but I've grown to it.

I had a wonderful time chatting with my wife today.  I made her a little video with some of our summer fun.  We always have adventures and I'm looking forward to this summer break.  We will be heading up to Oregon to visit with my grandparents and see my two sisters.  They both graduate this week.  It is quite exciting.  We also have a dear friend who is graduating and then moving on to podiatry school.  He'll make a good doc.

I had a good easter dinner.  Left over grilled cajun chicken.  I am a real big fan of cajun food.

Tuesday Laura goes in for an ultrasound to see if they can spot the cause of her side pain.  Odd thing.

I did laundry this weekend.  Laura usually does it.  She likes fabric softener.  I'm not really bothered one way or another but I found myself missing the smell because it reminds me of her.  I used some today.  Now if I could just find a way to get a hug from her I would be set.  Both of us miss it.

Good thing is we are fast running out of days apart.

27 day down, 22 to go

Survivor's guide: day 26

Not a very exciting day.  I did watch general conference which was really good.

I got to chat with Laura.  She came on pretty late in the morning (I was up way early).  Laura was baking all sorts of goodies with her mom.  I thought I might not get the chance to chat with her.  It was really distressing seeing as I was looking forward to it all week.  She finally did get on and we had a good chat and such.  She distracted me so I missed the last session of conference today, but I'll get both tomorrow.

I gave Laura a gift I picked up for her.  A lava lamp.  She loves the darn things.  I was going to keep it as a surprise for when she got back.  She sent the cupcakes though so I wanted to give her something in return.  She loved it.  I don't think she was expecting it at all.  She loves pink so there you go.  It looks cooler in real life than in the picture.

Well that was my day in a nutshell.  Time to write Lor a poem.

26 days down, 23 to go

Survivor's guide: day 25

So today I came home to a package on my step.  What I found are pictures above.  I cupcake set.  It is pretty cool.  Of course I assume my wife got them for me but it did have her name on it.  I'll be eating them so Laura if you want them you better speak up quickly.  This week went by fast enough.  My first week of school of the new quarter done and over with.  Rough week but I've made it through everything all right.

I had a great dinner, pictured below.  Blackened chicken with grilled onions on the mashed potatoes.  I also finished off my risotto.  That was really good stuff, would have made Laura happy to have it.  She's probably salivating right now.  Yum!

Tomorrow is general conference for us Mormons.  I'll get to chat with my wife all weekend.  I look forward to that.  

Today On my way home from school I saw a car that had some how driven over the side walk and into bushes, facing down hill.  It was really odd cause of where the accident happened it seemed an improbable event.  Doesn't look like anyone was hurt which is a good thing.

Well I'm digging into those cupcakes.

25 days down, 24 to go

Survivor's guide: day 24

Hooray for finally making it to the hump of this awful separation from my better half.

I made a little video for her today.  It was some of my favorite wedding day pictures put to one of our favorite songs.

I'm ready for this week to be over.  Don't know what it was about this week but it is just bleh.

Nice thing about it though is Easter is coming up and I got a package full of goodies from my mom.  Of course she packed it as if Laura were still here so there will be plenty left for Lor when she gets home.

Down with another uneventful day.

24 days down, 25 to go