Beki, Aunt Wilma got you a present it's an... ELECTRIC BREAST PUMP!!!

Today, August 18th, is my sister-in-law's wedding day. She'll be getting married in a few hours time on a fairly wet Scottish Summer day. So this post is dedicated to her. A nice story she can tell her twins when she has them in December. After they grow up a bit I suppose...

She's a very cheeky individual. She's a trickster and sly, which makes getting her all the more fun. Before I tell you how the joke is on her I'll tell you all about the wonderful trick she played on me with her sister (my wife) Laura. I came to Scotland to get married and to get to know the family, knowing that after getting married my wife and I wouldn't have too many occasions to visit for long periods of time. One evening as I was preparing to go to sleep the sisters were telling me all about my soon to be father-in-law. Laura started off, without any prior communication to Beki, telling me her Dad was in a horrible accident. Beki piped in informing me that he lost his eye and that he had a glass one and so the story was built up going back and forth without either dropping the ball. The story was so well told that I didn't know I was going to be the butt of the joke for a few weeks. Soon her entire family knew and my Father-in-law started playing on it as well. Who the heck jokes about their father being in a horrible factory accident and losing an eye. Finally they told me and they all had a good laugh. Goodness I felt like a big dummy.

Beki doesn't believe that her older sister Laura can lie to her. She should have been fully aware of the fact that Laura can lie very well to play a good trick on someone. She in fact lied to Beki about a Birthday present long a ago. Beki really wanted a mobile phone. So younger Laura told a younger Beki "Mum and Dad got you a present that you might not like very much. They tried their best though." Beki asked what it was and Laura informed her that it was a mobile phone like Beki had wanted but it was huge. So big in fact that it would take two hands to operate it. Laura told Beki that she was going to have to look surprised so every night until Beki's Birthday Beki would practices her surprised look. I am told it became quite good in fact.

Now here comes the trick that has been played on our darling Beki. Laura once again is the mastermind behind it. Laura informed Beki that their Aunt Wilma had purchased a gift for her. Beki of course wanted to know what it was and said, "Come on Laura just tell me. You know I can make the surprised look." Beki then guess that it was a breast pump and Laura continued on by saying with a surprised look as if Beki had guessed the real thing that it was an electric breast pump and that it was a very nice one. Electric breast pumps apparently scare Beki and that does not sup rise me much. I would imagine quite a few women would be afraid of a machine of that sort. This morning Laura let us all in on the joke as Beki was in the other room on the phone to Aunt Wilma. As Beki came off the phone her Dad right on cue asked if Wilma asked Beki about the gift. Beki went on to tell us the whole story of how she guessed it and how Laura tried to lie about it but couldn't and informed Beki it was a really nice Electric Breast pump for when she has the twins. Were all trying not to crack up. My father-in-law with a perfectly straight face (Deserving an academy award and an Oscar for such a great performance) asks how did Beki guess. Beki in reply "I don't know I'm just a really good guesser when it comes to guessing these things. It's like a gift ." Well Beki for having a gift about guessing gifts given to you your really gift is the veil that you wanted in the wedding shop that you picked your dress up in.

Beki's real gift on my wife's head, what Beki thought she was getting and a picture of Beki's real surprised face.

Big Shrimps and Kites

My father-in-law went to the farmers market a few days ago and came home with a most ugly surprise. Hew brought home to creatures of the water with a most horrible complexion. These things were hideous in nature. They were grayish and had protruding eyes. Long feelers that were floppy out of the water. These things were gross with there little eyes and pointed face. They were at least six inches in length and looked like they would have loved to rip right through you that is how vicious they looked. He proceeded to cook them and I will attach their most hideous forms below. This image is not for the faint of heart, those who may be pregnant or may become pregnant, or small children. You have been warned, proceed at your own risk.

Right look at those bugs :P. Okay so I can't remember the name but they look like giant shrimp. The two of them take up nearly all the newspaper. They were very tasty as well. They tasted a lot like crab or lobster. Today we bought some kites and I took my nephew Cameron out to go fly them. It was good fun but the kite had to be adjusted due to poor design.

The darn thing kept on folding in on itself but after a wee tie up we got it up in the air as you can see. Long enough for me to get some good shots anyways.

Aside from kites I also purchased a shirt to wear along with my kilt. What a fantastic day :D...

In case you ever needed to know the time in the UK whilst in orbit...

A few days ago we were driving around in England and we came across a most interesting site. A huge garden clock. It wasn't just for show either cause as we were driving back the time changed on the clock face. I was wonder who on earth needed a clock that large. That is when it occurred to me that the individuals in charge of maintaining that clock were actually making sure the astronauts and other space creatures knew what time it was Greenwich standard. How helpful because I know for certainty when I get lost in space I will always want to be able to figure out what time it is around the world that I got lost from...

Standing Stones and Such...

We went to see this huge standing stone a few days ago. The stone is massive above ground which made me wonder how big the stone really is. A lot of it has to be stuck in the ground to keep it from falling over. These stones usually have scences of some sort carved into them. This one just over looks the town that we were near. Near this stone (200 footsteps of my father-in-law's, of which he wasn't at all interested in :P) is an alter made of a tree stump turned upside down with the roots still attached. I have a picture of it over gown and you can barely see it but it is definately there.

These alters are used for rites unknown to me. The significance in the distance between the standing stone and the alter must be present but what it is I also do not know. One of those cool things about history and ancient civilzations that I hope to someday learn. I think one of the more interesting things about this alter and standing stone is the fact that there is not any information nearby. Most of these sites in Scotland do have some sort of commentary along with. My Father-in-law recons that the alter is probably unknown by most...